


Richie and The Rabbit Hole

by acejugbiv



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Canon Compliant, Explicit Language, F/M, Fix It Fic, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Movie: IT (2017), Oblivious Richie Tozier, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Slow Burn, Time Jumping, Time Travel, Two stories in one...kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-10-28 12:26:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20778548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acejugbiv/pseuds/acejugbiv
Summary: When everyone goes back to their lives after Pennywise, Richie doesn't. He stays in Derry and finds a portal that leads back to 1989, only a few months after the loser club "defeated" Pennywise the first time.Using the help of the younger losers, adult Richie goes back in time to fix all the wrong that Pennywise caused when he came back the second time.





	1. Promise Me

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr: https://acejugbiv.tumblr.com/  
~~  
I wanted to start by saying this idea came from a book/series 11.22.63 that I never read/watched, so I'm assuming this is off canon, especially considering the fact that I'm using the wrong time periods (I'm using the time period from IT 2017 adaptation), but I liked the idea of there being a time portal close to Derry.
> 
> Also, this entire fic is going to be based off the 2017 movie rather than the book or the mini series. I find it easier to follow one of them, rather than a mix of them. I'm more in this for the idea, so I'm sorry if I don't quite follow canon. 
> 
> First chapter is based off the song PROMISE ME by. BADFLOWER, which in this canon is part of 2016 and not 2018. 
> 
> I'm just doing this for fun.
> 
> UPDATE 3/27/20: I realize this hasn't been updated in awhile, but I am still working on the next chapter. I had writers block and took a break, but now I have a good idea for the next two chapters. If you're worried about reading this fic, my plan is to continue it and finish it. I just don't have a lot of time to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist Link-> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Z3Qpj5WDEBdaf3YovpPlr

_ Don’t say goodbye. When did we get so old, so old, so old? _

Richie feels weird when he sees Eddie again for the first time in 25 years. He has so many feelings and memories that he forgot he had. He relives more and more memories, the more he talks to Eddie and the more he explores Derry. It's weird that this man was Eddie, because any memory he's had of him was of a kid. Short sweet little rainbow shorts Eds was now a full fledged adult and he wonders, when did they get so old?

They were 40 and yet, feelings of when he was 15 and younger seem to be the most prevalent right now. He lived in the moment of 15, when he was with his friends and he hadn't forgotten them yet. Hanging out in the quarry, skipping rocks with Mike, bird watching with Stan, gossiping with Beverly, riding bikes with Bill, annoying Ben while he reads, and bickering with Eddie. 

As soon as he notices how weird it all is, how old they all are and how they are all here together, in these new memories, it's already over, and it's time to say goodbye for good. 

Richie watches Eddie lay there on the dirty ground, he’s sobbing, and he doesn’t believe what he’s seeing. It can’t be true. It just can’t. Eddie never even got to say goodbye to him and he didn’t want to. It wasn’t fair. It could have even been him, but not Eddie, please god not Eddie. He gets pulled away and the only thing he can think of is _he's afraid of the dark. Please don't leave him alone in the dark. He's scared of the dark. _Then it's fully caved in, the house is gone, and he can't say goodbye, even if he does walk away. 

_ We’re so much older.... All I want is one more life with you. _

He’s at the river, trying not to remember the events of what had happened and he thinks, _he fucked up._ He watched his first crush and best friend, die, right in front of him. Only less than 24 hours earlier, all the feelings of when he was 15, right before he left Derry, surfaced. He never even told Eddie how he felt and even though he wasn’t sure he was ever going to tell him, it hurt most knowing he'd never even have the option to tell Eddie how he feels, even though Eddie would likely reject him if he did. That he couldn’t even be friends or talk with Eddie, because yes he survived the last 25 years or so forgetting who Eddie was, but now that he remembers, he’s not sure he can go through that again. Especially because he doesn't have the option to forget and he's pretty sure forgetting, but still feeling, was what had him so numb for the last 25 years despite "doing well".

_ When did we get so old? _ <strike> _ Why’d you get sick? _ </strike> _ And how could you die? _

How could Eddie die? He was so brave and Beverly saw how they all died when she saw in the dead-lights, but why not Richie? Why did he become aware with reality as soon as Eddie got stabbed. That stupid fucking clown had taken everything from him and he didn't even understand why. Eddie was brave. Eddie saved him and he had to pay for it. Richie wished he could trade, he wants to. He was the one meant to die, not Eddie. 

_ You promised me you’d never grow up. Now I have to let go. God, I miss you so much and even when your heart gave out, I was thinking I’d love you ‘til forever. _

Richie can’t fight how he feels and Richie isn’t sure why, but he doesn’t leave. He can’t bring himself to. Not after what happened.

The first thing he does when he gets alone is go to Eddie's room. He steals his hoodie and he feels bad about it, but it's the only thing that makes it feel like he's still here. It smells like him and it's way too small, but he makes it work. He goes to the kissing bridge a little later that day, where those two letters are still carved into the wood. They’re dull, but still legible, and like resurfaced feelings, he carves back into the wood to make the letters pop again. It stings, but he smiles nonetheless and he stares at the bridge for awhile, not leaving for hours. He doesn’t want to face the truth and every time he thinks he’s done crying, he’s not and it’s the worst feeling he’s ever experienced. 

_ And I can’t face the truth; that I died with you. _

Richie doesn’t leave the next morning and when he awakes, he realized he still has his ear buds in. The song plays again and he doesn't change it. He's had the song on repeat for awhile now. _ Promise me we'll never grow up. I don't wanna let go, i wanna stay young _. He sighed, letting his memories go again, and wondering if this music is making him feel better or worse.

A little of both. He's been listening to sad songs ever since he got back to his hotel room. First was how to save a life, which made him think of how he could have prevented Eddie's death, gone too soon, which made him wish he didn't miss 25 years of seeing Eddie, and now promise me. That really made him feel things. He should stop, he really should, but instead he let it play yet again for the millionth time.

_ Cause I'm the happiest when you smile at me _. Man, he must really fucking hate himself, because with each repeat, the song feels even more true and his chest tightens. Everything hurts and he has no more tears, which only leads him to chokingly and silently scream. 

In the middle of listening and feeling sorry for himself, his manager calls him. He doesn't answer, even when he calls over and over and over again. He should go home, he really should, he knows that. It might even make him feel better. He wasn’t even supposed to come to Derry in the first place and he’s on a very strict time schedule. He could lose his manager, his gigs that are lined up, as well as his popularity.

However, he can’t even bring it in him to think about any of that. None of that mattered compared to how hurt he felt inside right now and even if going back to LA would make him feel better, he couldn’t bring himself to dishonor Eddie that way. Eddie was his best friend after all.

It was awful, it made him want to throw up again and every once in awhile, tears came out, before they became dry once more. He hated feelings. It felt like they were consuming him on the inside, because they won! They defeated Pennywise, for good this time, but it still feels like he lost. 

The whole day went by, he stayed in the hotel another night, and he tried really hard not to make any brash decisions. He finally decided to text his manager, telling him he lost a very important friend today and he just needed to be with his friends one more day for the funeral. However, that wasn’t true. There was no funeral planned yet and nobody but the losers knew Eddie was dead. He had no idea when Stanley's funeral was either and he probably wasn't even invited to that since he hadn't been part of Stan's life for 25 years. Plus, most of the losers had gone home by now. Ben and Beverly left together, hand in hand. Bill went back to his wife and Mike, even though he was here and probably sad as well, didn't feel the damage that Richie felt. Didn't see his "first love" die in front of him and after everyone else left, Mike hadn't reached out. Probably didn't even know that Richie was still here like a pathetic loser, balling his eyes out. 

He had gotten the short end of the stick, that’s for sure. He was doing great in LA and he felt good about himself for the most part. The only thing he was missing was his true friends, that he had forgotten he had and a lover, which was never even his “lover" in the first place, it was just a crush. As soon as he got a feel for what he was missing in his heart, it cracked, and it was left broken, by a sloppy bitch clown, nonetheless. The other losers got to go back to their lives and Richie, Richie couldn’t stop sobbing, couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie. About their childhood and everyday spent with him or Stan. How they truly cared about him and actually listened when he talked, when now, anyone that talks to him is looking to gain something.

Nobody in LA ever truly asks how he feels or pry about anything other than his job or the celebrity parties.

Eddie cared. He asked about the arcade and when Richie wouldn't tell him, because he was afraid that Eddie would find out his secret, Eddie just smiled and told him he was there for him. Eddie may have teasingly got mad at him for some of his jokes, but he always smiled at Richie, gave him a genuine one. He pried, but usually not far enough to make Richie upset, because he cared about Richie's feelings enough to watch his boundaries. 

He also remembers the night he left at 15, when him and Eddie hugged. How Eddie didn’t want to let go and how, their lips got so close, but in the end, Richie was too much of a pussy to move forward. Too afraid of his own sexuality to try and kiss him, or wait to see if Eddie would kiss him, even if it was his last day in Derry. He had looked away from Eddie, he had let go, and now, sure, he was doing great, but after you meet people like the losers, nobody else can compare. 

Eddie and him had so many moments when they were younger, ones of love or at least Richie’s pining middle school mind thought they were "moments", even though Eddie was undoubtedly straight. Richie could feel everything from when he was younger, like he was reliving it 27 years later, and the crush was just the same. Eddie changed yes, he grew up, but deep down, he was still the same Eds, and being out here made him feel like a kid again. Eddie acted very similar to his middle school self, especially when talking to Richie. When Richie and Eddie talked, it felt like they could talk or kid about anything, like they could be their complete annoying ass selves. It felt like Eddie even liked him back sometimes, even if it was wishful thinking and Richie, he would never know if Eddie liked him back or not (even though his mind was sure he didn't). It was too late. Eddie was dead and Richie would forever be wondering what it would be like to kiss Eddie. 

He didn’t even go to sleep that night and in the morning, he didn’t get out of bed until 2pm, where his stomach, felt so sick, yet so empty, it hurt. He had to move, but he didn’t want to. He groaned and his thoughts slipped for a second. 

It was in that moment, half awake in bed, that he remembered something. A man, a few months after IT, asking him and Beverly questions, as they tried to learn how to dance before the fall dance and Beverly left Derry.

It was a short memory, yet, maybe not even a memory. The dancing surely happened, but the man, it felt like a figment of his imagination, like it was something that wasn’t meant to be recalled. Almost as if it never happened, not truly anyways. 

Confused and dazed, he found himself getting up without making a conscious decision to do so. It was like his body just knew what to do without thinking about it and he didn’t make any effort to stop it. 

He found himself in his car, driving. Not really sure where he was going, but he was going somewhere. His hands directing the wheel like they knew where they were going, but Richie didn’t. He had no idea where he was going. He just knew it felt right.

......................................................

He found himself in Libson Falls at a small diner that read, _ Al’s diner _. He didn’t think twice before hopping out of his car and opening the door. He was a man on a mission, even if he wasn’t sure what the mission was yet. 

A man behind the counter, roughly his age looked at him a second before ushering him to sit. The diner was practically full, bursting with families and laughter. There was only a small table left when he sat down and the guy behind the counter was the only one working. He seemed very overwhelmed and Richie could sense that the man had already forgotten about him, but Richie felt at ease knowing that. Like, he was about to do something the man wouldn’t like. It was an incredibly confusing experience. 

_ Richie, now is your chance. _

He didn’t understand what was happening or what was urging him to get up, after the man turned around and was handing a different table some food, he got up and he ran. Straight into the back and the man didn’t even notice. Richie felt relieved, but he also didn’t know what he was looking for. 

He must have gone crazy. Why was he in this diner, rummaging through a man’s kitchen? It didn’t make any sense, but he didn’t stop searching for the thing, whatever it was. 

Then, he saw it. There was a big door that went into the pantry and Richie began to get nervous. He looked around to make sure the man wasn’t back yet before he pulled the door open and walked inside the pantry like somehow this was a movie. That he'd walk through and find himself in Narnia. 

Something in him believed that this pantry lead somewhere. Somewhere he needed to be and he was right. 

As fast as he walked in, he popped out. It was weird. He was still in the same diner, but when he walked out, the kitchen had a cook that wasn’t there before and he looked at him angrily.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man yelled at him roughly and right, he was in the kitchen of a diner that he didn’t even work at. He probably shouldn’t be back here.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I was trying to find the bathroom,” Richie said, trying to make up an excuse, but the cook wasn’t having it.

“You're full of bullshit, you know that right? Get out of my kitchen or I’ll chop your hand off, you cocksucker!” The cook yelled at him and yup, that was definitely enough to get him moving. 

“Someone forgot to drink coffee this morning,” Richie mumbled to himself, happy that the cook didn’t hear him, as he ran out of the diner, not daring to look back before walking outside. 

He still didn’t understand why he decided to be as stupid to go into the kitchen of a diner he had no business of being in. He was really going crazy. Richie sighed, looking up to find his car, so he could drive back to the hotel and maybe eat something too, considering he didn’t eat at the diner.

_But, where the fuck was his car?_

Richie scrambled, looking at the only two cars in the lot, which were two old cars, probably made somewhere in the 1980s. Nothing that looked like the shiny red convertible he rented.

That was weird. Did someone really steal his car? He was only gone 5 minutes and someone already stole his car? A rental car for that matter. 

As Richie sighed, trying to think of what to do in a situation like this, fate finally decided to give Richie a hint of what was going on.

A newspaper, with a puff of wind, falls at his feet and he looks down, bringing the newspaper to his face to find the year and date reading: 9.9.89.

_ That's weird, _he thinks and for a moment he wonders if he's having a back to the future moment, but that was impossible, right?

Right, because this was just a random old newspaper. I mean, he's just overly depressed and sleep deprived. His mind just wanted him to believe that there was a fix to the madness of the last week. 

Except, the newspaper said something about a missing boy, one that he clearly remembers was killed by IT back 27 years ago. He doesn’t even know how he remembers, especially with how blurry his childhood has been until very recently. 

He doesn’t understand. Was IT somehow still alive and trying to fuck with him? Was it another weird evil alien thing?

He thinks it's the previous thought, that maybe he's just really sleep deprived and he's either having a very vivid dream or a hallucination. He didn’t know and honestly, the lack of caffeine wasn’t helping. 

All he had to do was go down to the sheriff department, give them his information about his stolen car, and as he waits for them to find it, he can eat some breakfast, have some goddamn coffee, and call his manager to get him on a flight back to LA. It was that simple. The diner was in town at least, so all he had to do was find a pedestrian to ask where the police station was. Yes, walking was going to take awhile, but he’s sure it won’t take that long before he could reach the police station or at least somewhere with a working phone.

Because of course Richie left his phone inside the car and of course he didn’t have his keys. He’s pretty sure he actually dropped them on his way in. He was tired and dazed, he wouldn’t be surprised if he did. That was probably how it got stolen in the first place. Only Richie could be that stupid.

Richie groaned, looking left and right, not really sure where to go, until he sees another car pull into the diner, another old looking car. A man comes out with his wife and Richie walks up to them, knowing fully well he probably looks homeless in his dirty clothes, uncombed hair, and very much sleep deprived eyes, bags visible underneath them.

They look at him weirdly, but Richie couldn’t care less.

“Uh, hey, I was just wondering if you guys know where the police station is in this town?”

“Sure, it’s a half a mile up this way,” the lady points, “right next to the grocery store.”

“Thank you,” Richie says, thanking the universe it isn’t too far. He was already too tired and stressed to walk at all. So the shorter the distance, the better. As Richie walks, he remembers what the couple looked like. In the moment he was disparate. He noticed the way they looked, but he had other concerns. Now though, he had a half a mile to walk and the couple, they looked different. Not someone from 2016 that’s for sure. It was weird. It looked like they were in older style clothing.

It wasn’t much to note though. It didn’t look overly weird, the way they dressed and for all Richie knew, there was some weird reenacting cosplay stuff going on. 

It's just, everything in his mind is screaming that everything is way too off. Something isn't right and he's had a vivid lifelike dream before and he always knows he's sleeping, even if dream him is usually running anyways.

He wasn't sleeping. He knew that and he noticed the cook right after he got out of the pantry, even though he didn't remember stepping out of it either, and he wasn't there before, and the man before, the guy working by himself last time wasn't there. 

Both men looked drastically different too, so it wasn't like they were the same person. The cook looked old and bald, with a very angry personality, while one man show was nervous, in his middle ages, and lanky. 

It wasn't long into his thinking that his head started pounding and he had a full blown headache. 

_ Wonderful. This day just couldn’t get any better! _

He continued to walk, having trouble thinking, and after what seemed like hours, he reached the police station. He didn’t think much when he saw it and sure the town itself looked old. Everything was out of date, but he’d never been to Libson Falls either. He’s sure that everything is just really out-dated due to the budget. I mean, it’s a small town in Maine, what did he expect?

He shrugged off what he was seeing and entered it. Going up to the receptionist desk immediately. 

“I would like to report a stolen car,” Richie said frantically and the woman behind the desk nodded. 

“I’m sorry sir, what’s the license plate?”

Fuck, Richie wasn’t sure. He didn’t have his paperwork, his license, or his phone. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

“I’m not sure, it’s a rental.”

“Well, sir, I’m sorry to say that without a license plate, I can’t report a stolen car; however, why don’t you call the place that rented you the car and get the license plate. For now why don’t you tell me the year and model of the car.”

“Well it’s a 2016-” he starts, but the lady behind the counter laughs, cutting him off.

“Sir, are you okay? You know you just can’t come barging into a police station faking a stolen car, right?”

“What do you mean? You only asked for the-” 

_ Oh fuck. _

“What year is it?” He asked and she looks at him strangely. “Listen mister, I don’t have time for these stupid games,” she says and Richie starts to ignore her, seeing a calendar on the wall behind her. A 1989 calendar.

“You know what, thank you mam for everything, but I really must be going,” he says, looking at the calendar for a few more seconds, blinking to make sure he was seeing it right and he was.

He walks out in rush, knowing that if he stayed too long the lady would likely tase him or send him to a mental hospital. 

He was so confused and hungry and tired and just, _god_, this had to be the weirdest day of his life and he fought a demonic clown for fuck sakes. 

He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he needed coffee and he needed it now. So, he walked a little further until he found a coffee place and like a douchebag, when no one was looking, he took money from the tip jar. Yes, he knows he's an asshole, but he had no money and he would come back with more than enough money for the tip jar after he figured out what the hell was going on. 

He got his coffee and sat down in the corner, trying to think of the best thing to do. What he really needed was to call a cab and get into Derry. However, he didn’t have a number for a cab driver or the money, which meant he either had to walk there (and there was no way in hell he was doing that) or he had to get money, then find a phone book to call a cab.

  
That could be easy enough, right?

To get enough money for a cab. It wouldn’t be that much, except it was out of town and considering the population size of both towns, there probably weren't many cabs close by if he wasn't ready to pay a pretty penny. 

Richie sighed, disgruntled, drinking his coffee, and then a woman sits down on the table right next to him. She’s old and she rests her purse close enough to Richie that he could easily slide his hand over to her wallet.

_He was going to hell. Like, seriously going to hell, who the hell steals from old ladies? _

When the woman's name was called to pick up her coffee, he acted fast, reaching over and opening her purse. He found her wallet quickly, taking out a handful of bills, but it doesn’t take long for anyone to grab a coffee, so of course the woman turns around before he can set her wallet back into her purse.

“Hey, what do you think your doing young man?”

_ Oh fuck. _

Of course, Richie does the stupidest thing he could have done in this scenario, he ran, he ran like his life depended on it, even when the woman was screaming.

“Come back here you huligan! That man just stole from my purse!”

Richie ran, knowing full well what he had done. He feels bad, but somehow that doesn't change his pace, he keeps going. After a few seconds, he looks behind him, noticing something running outside the cafe, and all he could see was a way healthier, more in shape, young man running after him.

_ Yup, he was going to die. _

He tried to run faster, but he was already so out of shape and also really tired. It didn’t work and the other man was so close to him, so what does Richie do?

He picks up a giant rock mid run and throws it at the guys face, who falls down quickly, and holy shit, Richie was a monster. He kept running though, not daring to look back. He makes sure to turn a couple of times to make sure that if the man got up, he wouldn’t be able to find him, and before he knew it, he found himself in front of the town library, which was oddly convenient. 

He quickly makes his way to a phone book, jots down the number on a piece of paper that he got from the librarian and waits outside for the cab. He looks at the money in hand, $50. Not bad and surely enough money for the taxi, yet he couldn’t help but feel bad. He not only stole money from the barista’s tip jar, that were already probably making minimum wage, but he also stole money from an old lady, as well as knock out a man who was just trying to get an old lady her money back. 

He could have done this a better way, he’s not sure how, but he’s sure there was one better than stealing and physically hurting innocent people. It was kinda too late now though and if only they knew the great cause, they’d be okay with it.

Or maybe not. I mean, who’s to say that this is actually a different year? It probably isn’t. He’s just going crazy and stole money from an old lady for no reason. Surely there was some punk teenager that took a video of the scene, the video going viral, and his career going down in flames.

_He would deserve it though_, that's what he tells himself anyways. 

As Richie scolded himself for being a bad person, the cab came up and Richie quickly got in. “Derry please,” he said. “Where in Derry?” The man asked, looking at him through the mirror. _Right_. Where was he going in Derry exactly? Then the dance played in his mind again and somehow that’s where he ended up telling the driver to go.

It didn’t take long to get there and when they did, his heart launched right into his throat, because standing right across the street was Beverly Marsh. She was beautiful, her ember hair flowing in the wind as she smiled brightly, dancing with a boy. The boy looked happy too and it didn't take long for Richie to notice that it was in fact him dancing with Beverly. They were both 13, right before the fall dance, learning to dance, and the memory floods into his mind. _This was ludicrous. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been. It was impossible for him to be in two places at once. Time travel is impossible, there is no way-._

“Are you going to pay me sir or not, because sure I charge by the mile, but I have things to do.”

_Right, that._

Richie pulled the money he owed for the cab out from his pocket and handed it to the cab driver, getting out of the car. It felt weird and surreal. He watched them dance and laugh, like there was no worries in the world. They were cute and he couldn’t help but smile as he watched younger him awkwardly dance. 

He got lost in thought then, remembering the fall dance. How it was Beverly’s last dance before the move and how cute Eddie looked with his bow tie. How close he was sitting to Eddie when a slow song came on and half the loser’s went on the dance floor to hold someone. He so badly wanted to hold Eddie, but he was a coward, he knew he couldn’t, and Eddie must have sensed it too. Maybe not that Richie wanted to hold Eddie because he had a crush on him, but he could at least tell Richie was jealous of the losers on the dance floor, because Eddie had put his hand on top of Richie's, let his fingers dance over the back of Richie's hand for a few seconds, before resting it on top of Richie's . It didn't last long and Eddie only looked at him for a second to smile, before he was looking at everyone else again. 

As soon as the song was over, Richie took away his hand like it had been burned, and looked around to make sure no one saw. Neither of them talked about it and Eddie never put his hand on top of Richie's hand like that again.

“Hey asshole! Do you enjoy staring creepily at children, because I’ll give you something to stare at it!” young Richie yells at him from across the street, putting his fists in the air, as Beverly holds him by the collar and yeah, that was Richie alright. Too real to even be a figment of his imagination. I guess he really was in 1989. I mean, if it wasn’t, he’d know it. This was too real and even if it was fake, well, he might as well make the best of the situation in case it was real. 

“What are you like 12?” He yells back and young Richie just glares at him.

“13 dickwad,” young Richie yells back at him and Beverly hushes him. “Are you trying to get us killed?" she snaps at him and then looks back at future Richie. “Sorry mister, he’s always like this.”

“Oh, I know,” Richie says cockily, a smirk on his face and young Richie furrows his brows. “What do you mean, “you know”, you don’t know anything about me! Unless you stalk me like a fucking pervert, which I wouldn’t doubt.”

“I’m not a pervert,” older Richie states, taking a few steps forward so they can hear each other better, but still far enough away that young Richie doesn’t attack him with all his pubescent rage. 

“Listen, I know this is going to sound weird, but I’m you from the future,” he says directly at young Richie, who looks at him even more confused than before. 

“You’re what now?” young Richie asks, furrowing his brows in confusion, and Beverly does too, because this guy had to be nuts. 

“I’m you from the future,” he states again, not sure why he’s even telling him this, because he knows how crazy it sounds; also he’s pretty sure that there is rule about time travelling and not being able to see or talk to your younger self, but whatever.

“I heard that dipshit, what are you from the mental hospital? I mean you kinda look like you’d be from there, you do look homeless and you are acting like a nut job.”

“No, I’m not from the mental hospital. Listen to me, Pennywise comes back,” older Richie says and both Beverly and Richie’s eyes widen.

“Wait wait wait, you know about Pennywise?” Beverly asks, her eyes going wide in remembrance, and future Richie nods.

“Holy shit, I remember you, I saw you in my vision, when were older and we all die. Oh my god. This can’t be real. You’re fucking with us. You aren’t Pennywise are you?” She asks and older Richie puts his arms out in defense. 

“No, I'm not that sloppy ass bitch, okay. Just listen to me, alright? We defeated Pennywise just a few days ago and Ed- people die okay. I survived, but not everyone, and afterwards I found this magical pantry that led me here, so if this is truly the past and not some weird dream, I need you to help me defeat him before he comes back in 27 years and kills more people.”

Beverly and young Richie stare at each other in disbelief, because this can’t be real, it just can’t. However, demonic clowns are real, so why not time travel?

“Okay, we’ll help you,” young Richie starts after an awkward silence, “however, you need to prove to me that you really are future me and not just Pennywise again or some other weird demonic creature.”

_Alright, that’s fair_. 

“What’s my middle name?” Richie says, eyes wide and future Richie can not believe how fucking stupid he is for being a straight A student.

“It’s Thomas,” older Richie says, resisting the urge to strangle his younger self. 

“Okay, what’s my mother’s middle name?” young Richie asks, leaving Beverly and older Richie very annoyed. 

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Beverly interrupts, “just tell him something only the two of you would know or I guess just you would know, considering you might be the same person.”

Future Richie thought for a second, remembering Pennywise’s song again. _ I know your secret. Your dirty little secret. _

Fuck, okay, he knew what he had to say, but Beverly was standing there too, and he hadn’t even told anyone in the present about this yet. 

“Could you maybe take a few steps back and put your hands on your ears?" older Richie asks Beverly. 

She glares at him and young Richie shakes his head. “We aren’t stupid! That would be the perfect time for you to kidnap me!”

“Well, I don’t think you’re going to want Beverley to know about this yet, considering we’re the only ones who know.”

Young Richie goes bug eyed in fear and looks like he’s about to cry. He hated seeing him like this, but he had to. It was the only thing Richie ever kept to himself, considering Richie never stops talking.

“Listen, all I need is Beverly to take a few steps back, and put her hands over her ears. She can keep her eyes open and I’ll whisper it into your ear, okay?”

“What if you try to eat my face?” young Richie asks taking another step back.

“Well, we are in the open world,” Richie gestures to their surroundings. There are a few people and buildings around and Pennywise wouldn’t kill him in front of everyone. He’s pretty sure at least, so he trusts his gut feeling.

“It’s okay Bev, you can step a few feet back,” young Richie says and older Richie takes a step closer and brings his mouth to his ear, getting ready to let the words flow out of his mouth, even though he’s never said it out loud. It made him nervous and it takes him a second to gain confidence.

“Can you hurry up, you smell like ass,” young Richie says and older Richie glares at him. “Fuck you, I do not smell like ass. I mean, I haven't taken a shower in days and the only thing that cleaned me from the sewers was that gross lake that we used to jump into when we were kids-” he starts, but stops as young Richie gives him the ‘I told ya so’ look. “Okay, fine, yeah, I probably do,” older Richie replies with a huff and whispers in Richie’s ear. “You’re bisexual and have a crush on Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Young Richie flinches, eyes wide in horror, he thinks it’s fake, and he waits for Pennywise to appear and swallow him, but he doesn’t. Adult Richie just takes a step back, looking defeated at the younger version of himself.

“It’s true?” young Richie asks and older Richie nods. “I mean, yeah, but you already know that.”

Young Richie shakes and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.” He looks over at Bev and ushers her over with his hand. She takes a few steps forward, looking at the two men before her. They don't say anything and she can tell that they're done, so she takes her hands off her ears.

“The real deal?” she asks and young Richie nods, still shaking from hearing what he just heard. “The real deal.” 

“Alright,” Beverly says and Richie expects her to pry about what the two had talked about, but she doesn't. Instead, she smiles and looks straight at future Richie. “What can we do to help?”

“Well, first,” older Richie starts, hating to get children into this, even if one of those children were technically himself. It wasn't like he really had any other choice though. He needed to get Eddie and Stanley back and he was going to promise himself that whatever happened, he was going to make sure that the whole loser club, including Eddie and Stanely were going to live. It's what they deserved. 

“I need you to get the rest of the loser club.”


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younger losers and future Richie make a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is 2017 adaption and I'm also not sure how great I'm following canon. Maybe when I'm done writing this, I'll dive deeper into the lore and edit this.
> 
> This chapter is short, but for good reason. The next chapter will be a lot longer and honestly, this is just the beginning. I'm honestly thinking this may be a 10 chapter fic, but we'll see.
> 
> Feel free to leave comments :)

All the losers are currently sitting inside the little club house that Ben built. They all have on their signature shower caps besides Richie and Eddie, who were obviously too "cool" to wear them. Beverly and Richie had called all the losers, waiting outside the club house, as future Richie paced inside, and once all the losers filed in, they looked at future Richie confusingly. 

All the young losers awkwardly looked at future Richie as Beverly explained what the situation was and no this guy was not and I quote "Richie's long last dad, who Richie never knew till now, because his mom's a hoe."

“So, let me get this straight,” Ben starts, “this is Richie from the future and he wants us to fight Pennywise again, because if we don’t fight him now, he’ll come back in 27 years and kill some of us?"

“Precisely,” Beverly says and Ben nods a few times before falling onto his back with a sigh. He didn’t want to fight Pennywise again. It was bad enough that they almost died on numerous occasions, either that be going down to the sewer or almost kissing the monster itself. Ben almost pukes at the thought, remembering Pennywise as Beverly again. He wants to cry and he lets himself stay strong in order to not be embarrassed in front of crush. 

Ben isn't the only one dreading the fight either, none of the losers wanted to, and it makes them all remember all their previous encounters with Pennywise again. They all hoped that it was defeated the last time and all the losers actually had just started living without constant fear that the clown was going to kill them and now, the future had already got new plans for them, literally. 

“If our older selves can’t fight IT without dying, how are we supposed to?” Stanley pipes up, fear in his eyes as he starts crying, and the rest of the losers sit in silence. Beverly pats him on the back to try and reassure him, but it still doesn’t change anything. Stanley is still shaking, holding himself tightly, like maybe if he closes his eyes and tells himself it isn't real, he'll be fine. 

Richie can tell they're all afraid, hell he was scared shitless when he went back to Derry a few days ago and even though he feels braver, it doesn't stop the fear from poking in. He knows he has to be strong though, for the kids, and he feels really bad, he really does, and seeing these kids cry makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

He feels sorry for them, he really does, because he knows how hard it is to be a kid, and how difficult Pennywise was in general. He just hopes this works out and doesn’t blow up in his face. 

“We won,” Richie starts, “just not all of us made it and I understand the mistakes that were made. I know how to kill IT and for real this time.”

The room goes silent and Richie tries his best to think of the words to use. It honestly didn’t make much sense, how they defeated Pennywise. When he thinks about it, it seems really weird how they killed IT, but he needed to try.

“Pennywise is weak. Especially now. He ran away from you guys for a reason. He was close, but we have to go deeper, kill him where he disappeared into. After we get there, we have to remind him how small he is. We have to yell at him, be stronger than he is, tell him he’s a clown, make him feel small, so he becomes small, so that way we can grab his beating heart out of his chest and smash it," Richie says, using hand gestures the entire time, holding the pretend heart like he's squeezing the life out of it. 

Richie stops there and looks intently at the other losers. None of them say anything for a moment, then younger Richie bursts into laughter.

“Yeah, okay, because calling a demonic clown, a clown, the thing he purposely disguises himself as, is going to kill it. That’s genius homeless guy! Just genius!”

“Hey, I am not homeless! Far from it, I have a penthouse in California!” older Richie pipes up, because god dammit, he was not homeless! He was just gross from the sewers and overly tired. 

Young Richie smiles at him, excitement bubbling in his small body. “You do? Oh my god, did you hear that guys, I’m gonna be rich! You guys better be nice to me!”

“Beep beep Richie,” Mike says to young Richie, looking at older Richie again. 

“You are being serious, right?” Mike asks and he looks scared. He doesn’t know what to believe and honestly future Richie wasn’t really sure if this was going to work, but the only way it would, would be if he could make the other losers confident. 

“As serious as I’ll ever be and I never am.”

“We know,” everyone says practically in unison and younger Richie sticks his tongue out at them. Some of them roll their eyes, but not Eddie, he stares at older Richie in wonder.

“What do I look like when I’m older?” Eddie asks and Richie smiles at him. He remembers Eddie again and he’s not going to lie, Eddie aged pretty well. Maybe not as well as Ben, but Eddie was undeniably attractive, and when Richie saw Eddie again for the first time, all the feelings came up like they never went away, even before he remembered everything. 

“Very handsome,” Richie says, smiling at the thought, biting his lip, and Eddie fists his hand in the air with victory. 

“What about me?” Ben asks and Richie wants to say, he really does, because Ben gets HOT, but then he realizes that maybe meddling with the past so much isn’t such a good idea. He’s doing enough already and he can’t have these kids expecting that their lives are going to turn out exactly as Richie says, especially when he’s lifting the curse of Pennywise. 

“Okay, that’s enough with the future. I know you all want to hear about it and I really want to talk about it, but just because I tell you something is going to happen, doesn’t mean it will and I really don’t want to freak you out or make you believe your going to get something great that never comes.”

"Also-," future Richie continues, staring and pointing at past Richie. "Don't expect to make bank when you're older now. You don't get anywhere without working your ass off."

Younger Richie rolls his eyes. "I know, I know," he says and then Eddie furrows his brows for a second, before looking at younger Richie.

“Wait, wait, so Richie’s mom isn’t a hoe?” Eddie asks, even though the conversation about this guy being Richie's dad was long forgotten. It even takes younger Richie a second to pick it up, but as soon as he does, he goes straight into bantering with the shorter teen. 

“Oh, shut up, you know it’s the other way around. I mean, your mom is easy. I’ve already been to Mrs.K’s house today and-”

“Can you guys just shut up?” Beverly pipes up and Richie only smirks at her. “Hey, I didn’t start it, Eddie did. It’s not my fault that Eddie is jealous that me and his mom are-” Richie stops, looking at Eddie, trying to act concerned as he looks at him. 

"What?" Eddie asks, confused and slightly blushing from the way that Richie was looking at him. Why did Richie stop talking in the middle of his sentence? It wasn’t like him to stop talking when no one interrupted him, but even then, he usually continues. 

"You have a spider in your hair," Richie says with a smirk on his face. 

Eddie's eyes go wide in horror and he tries his best not to freak out over it. Richie was lying, obviously, he could tell by the look on his face, but that didn't stop Eddie from thinking of the 1% chance that Richie was telling the truth. 

"You're lying!" Eddie yells and Richie shakes his head. "I'm not. See its right-" he cuts himself off, as he pointed to Eddie's head before tickling him. 

"It's here, it's there. Oh my god Eds."

Everyone stares at them, Stan is groaning and rolling his eyes. 

"Seriously guys, right now?" Beverly asks, rolling her eyes as well and waving her hands in the air frustratingly, but young Richie doesn't stop, he keeps going, and Eddie doesn't stop laughing. He curses at Richie a little too and older Richie stares, confused, and a little concerned. Was he really that obvious and annoying when he was younger? I mean, it was kinda ridiculous. They were having a serious conversation and he just decided it was the best time to tickle his crush. 

When it goes on a little too long, Beverly looks at adult Richie, giving him the eyes of 'are you gonna do something about this?'

"I'm going to kill you Richie!" Eddie yells in between giggles and younger Richie only laughs, digging his fingers into the other boys sides. They look like they are about to go a whole lot longer and well, Richie was the adult, which technically meant he was in charge. Even though the only child he's ever babysat in the past 10 years was his niece and he suspected he was pretty bad at that too considering he usually buys her pizza, ice cream, and candy, then let's her stay up till 1am. Yeah, he shouldn't have kids, not without someone who's willing to raise two kids at once at least. 

"Richard Thomas Tozier I swear to god if you don't stop, I'll tell Eddie you slept with his mom," older Richie says, which leaves both boys in fear, and he’s honestly surprised that it breaks them apart. 

He also noticed how painfully obvious he was about his crush on Eddie and it made him cringe a little bit. Like, really? Tickling him in front of everyone? He’s 13, not 4. 

"You slept with my mom!? I thought that was just a joke," Eddie asked younger Richie and older Richie shrugged. 

"Yeah, we also got married. Technically you're my son little Eddie Spaghetti," older Richie said, stirring the pot even more, because if one thing didn’t change over the years, it was the fact that Richie was still a trashmouth shit starter. 

“What!? You're fucking with me! This isn’t funny! My mom would never-” Eddie starts screaming hysterically and older Richie laughs.

“Yes, okay, fine, I’m joking with you,” he says quickly before Eddie really goes insane. He knows how Eddie can be and he’s not about to get him royally pissed off when they’re here on a mission. 

Younger Richie pushes Eddie, “Yeah Eddie, why would I want to sleep with your mom, when I’m rich living in California sleeping with a bunch of models? I have standards.”

Older Richie chuckles at that. “Yeah, no, you definitely do not have standards,” Richie says, remembering all the horrible ex girlfriends and one night stands over his life. One time he dated a girl that quite literally had a breakdown in his penthouse, breaking the window, and he still dated her until she cheated on him. 

“He never denied the hot babes,” Richie said, looking back at Eddie. “Ya jealous there Eds?”

“No, definitely not. I have standards and you don’t,” Eddie said and older Richie couldn’t help but burst into laughter yet again, shaking his head, because between the two of them, Richie might actually win on having better standards. I mean come on, Eddie basically married his mother. An overbearing, overprotective, debatable abusive lady and honestly it wasn't funny, it really wasn't, but seeing young Eddie pipe up with rage was way too funny to not continue laughing. 

“What, WHAT?” Eddie yelled at him and older Richie kept cackling for a few seconds. “Nothing, nothing, we need to get back to what we were talking about. No more funny business.”

“But I didn’t start anything! Tell me why you were laughing!” Eddie yelled again and older Richie shook his head again. “Don’t worry about it kiddo. It’s noth-” he makes another giggling noise before finishing, “nothing. I promise.”

Eddie went to speak again, but Beverly looked at him sternly, as to let it go, and Eddie sighed, he didn’t want to let it go. Richie knew something he didn’t and it made him uncomfortable. Did he end up dating or marrying someone awful? Did he end up alone? Both thoughts were scary and the fact that Richie knew what he was like, who he was with or not with, bubbled him with curiosity, he’d definitely have to talk to him later. 

“H-h-how many-y of us di-ee?” Bill pipes up, trying to get away from the whole bickering moment and Richie shakes his head no, because he can’t. They’ll freak out, he knows they will.

“It’s not important,” Richie says and Bill shakes his head. 

“I need-d-d to know Rich-i-i-e-e.”

“Don’t worry Bill. Just know that I know we can win. None of us died after we knew what to do.” Which was true, no one did die after that, but even so, Eddie still died in the process, at the spur of the moment. Richie couldn’t guarantee that even if he knew how to kill Pennywise, that it would actually work. He’s not sure if only Eddie dying was supposed to be bad luck or good luck. They all could die, and then what? He would have killed all the losers, because Richie was selfish and thought he was stronger than what he actually was. 

Richie didn’t want to think of that possibility and he wouldn’t, because he wouldn’t let that happen. Pennywise was weak now and it was the perfect moment to strike, it had to be. This was fate giving him a second chance and he wouldn't waste it. 

Bill nodded, because he understood that any loss was something. Even if it was just one, it was a big enough reason to fight. Pennywise even taking one more kid, even if they were random, was enough rage fuel for Bill to want to fight. 

“Why here-e-e. Wh-y-y now? What-t-t about George Georg-ie?” Bill asks and Richie shrugs.

“I’m not sure, all I know is I was taken here at this time. I had no control over it and I’m just dealing with what I got.”

Bill nods, looking down, because he really wants to save Georgie. If this is all real and this guy is Richie from the future. If time travel exists, he wants to save Georgie too. 

Richie knows Bill well enough to know what he’s thinking about and he doesn’t want to break Bill’s heart. He really doesn’t, because it’s not fair that he can come back to save Stanley and Eddie, but not Georgie. Georgie never even got to grow up and Bill loves Georgie, blames himself partially for Georgie's death. Bill has suffered and all Richie can do is put his hand on Bill’s back for a second, giving it a pat and telling him “I’m sorry Bill, I really am, but I’m not even supposed to be here right now and I don't even know how much time I have. I honestly stumbled in the past without understanding what was going on or how it happened.”

Bill nods, tears well in his eyes and _ fuck _, Richie felt bad, he really did, but he was right. He wasn’t supposed to be here and he didn’t even know how time traveling worked or even if killing IT with the younger losers back before Georgie got killed would even do anything. 

“We need to go, tonight,” Richie says, “I’m not sure if time traveling has a time limit or not and I’m not about to find out.”

The rest of the losers nodded, sadness in their eyes as they stared out into open space, because IT wasn’t dead and IT had killed some of them. Pennywise had killed some of them when they were adults; older, stronger, wiser, and it made them all the more scared, because Richie didn’t need to tell them that Pennywise was more than what he was when they hurt him mere months ago, even if he was weak. Killing Pennywise for good was going to be a task and one wrong move could not only kill them all, but change the future forever.

_ What if this was Pennywise? _ Older Richie thought. _ Going through the portal. Like, what if because Pennywise is dead in my timeline, that when he died, he implanted something in my brain when I was in the deadlights to time travel and give himself a second chance? _

Okay, maybe he was over analyzing the situation, but the paranoia was real. Pennywise could have.

  
But thoughts like that wouldn’t get him anywhere. He just really needs something to eat and sleep, but the sleep part was a little harder to take care of with the questionable time he had. God, this has been the weirdest week of his life. 

“I have tasks for you all and I want you to meet me back here in an hour, okay?”

The losers nodded and Richie stood up, pointing at the losers one by one. Giving them tasks, even if he didn't really need more than half the things he asked for. He figured that giving all the losers tasks would make them feel braver in a way. Like they all mattered, because they did. 

Also, the more he got Beverly alone with Ben, the better. 

“Mike, I need you to get that weird gun thing. Bill I need you to grab your dad's gun, don't forget to load it. Beverly and Ben, I need you to get some spears, maybe steal some from that fence at the creepy house. Eddie, I need you to get a first aid kit. Richie, I need you to grab some matches and a torch."

"Where the fuck am I supposed to find a torch?" Younger Richie yells and older Richie pats him on the shoulder.

"You'll find a way, you can always make one."

"And how am I supposed to do that? Can't i just get a flashlight like a normal fucking person?"

"Fire would be more damaging," older Richie says and younger Richie scoffs. 

"I'll just get the old blow torch if we need something like that."

"Fine whatever, we're losing time, can you just stop arguing with me for two seconds?"

Younger Richie sighed, “Okay, fine, you win! Stop making me look like a jackass!”

“You do that to yourself,” Stan says and young Richie glares at him.

“Well, at least I came back for you guys in the future! Remember that when you’re 40 and not fucking dead!” Young Richie yells and right, future Richie had one more loser to conduct and he knew exactly what he needed. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” he says pointing at Stan. “Could you get me something to eat? I’m starving and I haven’t eaten all day and-”

“Yeah, okay, I got it,” Stan says in a huff, before walking out of the clubhouse. Once he does, so does everybody else, and young Richie doesn’t stop complaining the entire way out.

It makes older Richie realize how much of a little shit he was. He’s not gonna lie, he kinda loves and hates the younger version of himself, which he guesses is good, considering most people are at their lowest in middle school, and Richie hasn’t strangled himself yet. 

Older Richie sighs, waiting for the younger losers to come back, and he thinks again, or as much as he can with a painfully empty stomach.

What was he supposed to do? Take the young losers down to the sewers with these make-do weapons and wing it?

Yeah, he was probably going to do that. He didn’t know of any other plan. He just had to be ready for anything. It is Pennywise after all. Plus, they sorta had a plan. They had to be “mean” to Pennywise in order to kill IT and they knew they had to take out it’s heart, pull it part. They had a plan. The same plan that they found out on a whim after Eddie got stabbed. 

They could do this. They had to. Richie won’t be able to live with himself otherwise. 

....

First to come back is Stan. He’s got a hot dog in hand and a glass of water in the other. It’s not much, but honestly Richie was too hungry to care. He scarfed it down almost immediately after it’s handed to him. Stan doesn’t say anything, he just steps back and sits. 

They stay silent for awhile, but since Richie was starving and thirsty, he finishes what he has quickly. It leaves the two alone in silence and Richie has kind of always been bad with silence. 

“So, like...”Richie starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. How do you talk to teens again? He feels creepy if he’s being honest, but hey, technically Stan was the same age as him. Technically. It reminds him that he’s never actually got to talk to the older version of Stan. Never got to see the face of the man who he once called his best friend. Boy is that weird. 

Stan was his best friend and not only had he forgotten about him, but he died. He never even had the chance to help Stan out of killing himself. He remembers how much of a pussy he thought Stan was for not showing up, until he found out that Stanley literally killed himself, because of his fear. He gulped at the thought and it seems that younger Stan seems to notice. 

“I die, don’t I?” Stan asks when Richie can’t seem to find words and he still doesn’t know what to say, because he wants to keep it all a secret. He doesn’t want to scare Stanley more than he already is. He pauses, waits a few seconds, before trying to cover up the fact that Stan was right.

“Of course you don’t Stanely, what gave you that-”

“It’s obvious, alright? I’m the weakest link. I’m so scared Richie. I don’t want to do this. Please just let me die at 40. If I died at 40-, I mean that’s a long fulfilling life isn’t it?”

Richie shakes his head and he wants so bad to take the pain away. He can’t stand that Stan would feel this way.

“No, Stan, listen, you’re braver than you think, alright? And I know you don’t believe me, but you are and more than one of us die. Who it is doesn’t matter. All that you need to know is that if we stick together and be brave, we can defeat IT. I know we can, but I need everyone on board.”

Stan shakes his head. “I can’t Richie, I can’t,” he’s crying again and Richie sighs, he can help save Stanley, he knows he can. 

“You can. You can. You’re just afraid, but believe me, they all are. Some of them are just better at hiding it. I promise you that 13 year old me is probably sitting in his room sobbing and sucking his thumb right now.”

Stan’s still crying, but it seems to get better, because he’s not really making any noises anymore and he furrows his brows. 

“Wait, do you actually suck your thumb?”

Older Richie shrugs, “not anymore, but yeah, when I'm really nervous. It’s more of biting on the tip of my finger, okay? Don’t think too hard about it.”

Stan chuckles a little and he starts to feel better. Not a lot better, but a little. Everyone seems so confident and brave, while Stanley feels like he’s about to die from the nerves before they even take a step back into the sewers.

Older Richie looks back at him, smiling, because Stanley had always had low self esteem. Always thought little of himself, but he was so much more than that and Richie is just glad that in this moment, that they were here together, and they were alright. 

Silence brews for a few minutes, before Beverly and Ben burst through the door with fence post spears from the house on Neibolt street. They have two each and Beverly hands one to adult Richie. He grips it firmly in hands, trying not to get another PTSD attack. He takes a deep breath, watching as Ben gives a spear to Stan too. He hesitates, but he takes one too. 

Almost as suddenly as Stan takes the spear, Eddie comes in, then a few minutes pass before Mike comes, then Bill who hands Richie his dad's shot gun and lastly young Richie, who strides in confidently with a blow torch and a couple flash lights to go around. 

They all look at each other for a moment. None of them speak, not even one of the Richies. Ben only hands his other spear to Bill and with fire in his eyes, Bill says “what are we waiting for?” without a hesitation or stutter in his voice. 

Older Richie smiles. “Let’s kill this fucking clown,” he says and the other losers smile, getting up and out of the clubhouse. 

...

As they walked to the house, young Richie and Eddie bickered behind the group, as adult Richie lead, trying to keep his cool, as he led the young losers to their possible deaths. 

He wants to puke and he feels it come up a little bit, but he chokes it down. He was an adult and if he faltered, showed that he was scared, the rest of the group would get scared too. 

They needed to be brave to win, mainly adult Richie needed to be brave for the rest of them if he wanted them all to live. If he wanted an even slight chance of seeing adult Eddie again and adult Stanley for the first time. 

Richie took a deep breath as they approached the house and he didn't even look back, when he walked past the fence, up the stairs, and to the door. He opened it without hesitation, because for once in Richie's life, he felt brave.

Everything of the past week has led to this moment and he had played a thousand scenarios in his head of how the death of Pennywise could have went. Ones where Eddie would have lived and recently, of the younger losers helping him. 

He could do this, he could, they were going to win, and Richie would do anything to make sure that it happened. 

Eddie's adult form takes place in his mind again and usually he'd get sad not soon after the thought popped up, but now, he felt happy and determined instead.

When they walked inside the house, nothing out of the ordinary popped up. They walked through the house, surprisingly unharmed or bothered. They made their way to the well and the sewers. The spot they fought Pennywise last time looked exactly the same and for a second, the losers thought that maybe, _ just maybe, _that the clown wasn’t here.

“Are we sure that the clown is here?” Mike asked future Richie and that had never even occurred to him, but he had to be right? He was just sleeping or at least that’s what Pennywise made it seem like he did. 

“He’s here,” older Richie said, “he’s probably just caught off guard or is possibly waiting for a sneak attack.”

Which was probably true. Honestly, future Richie wasn’t 100% sure that Pennywise was here, but he didn’t know where else he would be. He was taking a chance, but he couldn’t let the younger losers know that.

So, he looked down into the hole and he knew where he was about to go. He was about to dive deeper into the rabbit hole. He feels like he did that once today, but this one is different. The pantry was the rabbit hole that led to a different time, in this rabbit hole, he was about to dive deep into a different world, _ hell. _

Pennywise was bound to show the losers all their greatest fears, but Richie wasn’t afraid anymore. Richie wasn’t even afraid to die. He’s seen his biggest fears come to life and nothing is worse than losing the people that matter most to you.

That’s happened twice in his life, from this clown, and honestly, he didn’t have much to lose, and he knew that Pennywise could be defeated.

Underneath it all, he was just a clown anyways.

_ A stupid clown. _

  
With that thought on the tip of his mind, he started climbing down, _ falling down, falling down, the rabbit hole again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr-> acejugbiv.tumblr.com


	3. Fall Inside The Rabbit Hole Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will always wait for you, I'll always be waiting, I will always follow you, 'Cause you cannot escape me  
I will always wait for you, I'll always be waiting. I will always follow you 'Cause you cannot escape me  
I'll drag you into my home. Lose you deep in my thoughts. Fall inside the rabbit hole again  
I'll drag you into my home Lose you deep in my thoughts. Fall inside the rabbit hole again  
I could say I'll take you, I could say I'll make you, but underneath all I plan to do, to do is break you.  
You could be my breakthrough. Watching demons wait 'til I leave you, and they can initiate you.  
No one understands me, too scared to command me. Walking through an empty underworld of demons dancing  
-Aviva

As Richie climbs down into the cavern, the rest of the losers follow. It’s damp and the rotting smell only gets worse the closer they get towards the bottom.

"Eddie, I didn't know your mom lived in the sewer," young Richie teases Eddie. "It smells like someone farted and honestly I don't know anyone that could make it smell like this other than the beloved Mrs.K"

"Fuck you Richie, we’re about to fight a killer clown, couldn’t you be a little more serious?" Eddie hisses.

“Nope, that’d be no fun," younger Richie says and he says it as confident as he possibly can, but the other losers notice that he's not. He's scared and he's trying to cope. They don't say anything, none of them know what to say, because there really wasn't much else to be said. 

Future Richie ignores himself, trying to concentrate on the task before him. He has to hold his breath halfway down the hole, because young Richie was right, it does smell awful and kind of like shit. It also smells like someone died down there, which doesn’t make the uneasy feeling in the pit of Richie’s stomach go away. He feels like he may have a panic attack, but he holds his breath and tries his best to stay brave, and as he climbs quickly down, it isn’t long until future Richie starts hearing things. 

He hears a giggle, clearly that of Pennywise, and he looks down, making sure the clown wasn’t ready to swallow him whole.

Well, Pennywise probably was, but when Richie looked down, he wasn’t directly underneath him, so that meant something. 

He tries to ignore it, but the laughing gets louder, more demonic, and he can hear it, Pennywise’s voice taunting him like the little fucker he is. 

He can feel the hatred burning in the clown’s laughs. It’s rough, wanting, and desperate. He can almost hear the drool escaping from the monster’s mouth, as he awaits for his food to arrive. It's sick and deranged, making Richie's blood boil. The hatred is consuming him right now, the anger is swelling, and he reminds himself not to get too far into his head. 

Pennywise probably heard them when they started climbing down. Richie can tell by the fact that this is the first he’s hearing Pennywise and he readies his gun just in case. 

Once he’s fully down inside the cavern, he’s immediately greeted by a dancing clown, which he isn’t really surprised by. Eddie and Beverly had told him about the stupid dance, it makes him smile for a moment. He’s not entirely in front of him. He’s a couple feet away and he’s smiling too, which makes Richie a little uneasy. "Never would have guessed to see a clown dancing clown!" Richie laughs at it, pointing his finger at IT. Pennywise is no longer laughing, but he’s drooling, like he’s hungry, which Richie knows he is. He could hear the gurgling of saliva in his voice as he was climbing. It was honestly quite nasty.

Richie glares at him as he watches the pathetic clown slow his dance after the words Richie said a few seconds ago, he dances quite awfully Richie must add and he notices he’s the only one down there, the rest of the losers are still coming down the hole. 

Pennywise doesn’t let all the losers down before he’s lunging in front of future Richie who immediately shoots him, not once, but twice, and three, before he uses the gun as a spacer between Pennywise’s teeth and his face. 

He can feel the spit from the monsters mouth on his face and hands come out from his mouth, grabbing towards him, loosely holding the gun, but Richie has seen this before. He pushes back, strong, and tries his best to keep his footing. 

Bill comes down shortly after and he doesn’t even hesitate to take his spear, running it through the clown’s face, leaving him to falter back for a second, and soon the rest of the loser’s finally make it out of the hole. 

Richie shoots the clown again, right above its eye, which only seems to aggravate it, and the monster doesn’t take long in transforming itself. Spider legs grow from its body in all directions, tearing out from it’s flesh. It’s teeth somehow grow wider too, but it’s still smaller than the spider thing that Richie saw just mere days ago. 

For one, there is a lot less room, so the monster didn’t have enough room to fully transform, but Richie can tell it’s weaker and he smiles, because he knows he can do this, _ they _ could do this. 

“Richie, is that you?” The clown laughs, as it grabs the spear from it’s head. It takes a moment, as the noise of ripping flesh is audible, and part of the clown’s head is cracked. Richie remembers that look better than the others. The clown is fading, IT is dying, and they had barely even started.

“Oh, Richie, you made these poor pathetic losers fall for your lame plan, didn’t you?” The clown says mockingly, letting the spear come out from it’s head with a pop, and letting it drop to the floor. IT then uses its legs to walk up the wall and onto the ceiling.

The losers try to jab it, but to no avail and Richie shoots again. IT smiles wider, teeth baring.

“You can’t kill me, I’m immortal Richie. You’re nothing but a forgotten son, aren’t you Richie?”

“Shut up!” Older Richie yells, shooting him again, and he tries his best to not think of what ‘forgotten son’ means, but unfortunately for him, Pennywise doesn't let Richie think for even a moment before he's antagonizing Richie again. 

“Poor Richie never grew up with a father, did he? Never pays attention to his son. That’s why you’re a faggot, isn’t it Richie?” The clown says and Richie shoots again, _ don’t let it get to you. Don’t let it get to you. It’s okay. _

“Oh, shucks, I just told your secret, didn’t I Richie? You know what happens to boys like you, don’t you Richie?”

He shoots again and the other losers stare, not sure what to do in this moment. Richie doesn’t even think of his ‘secret’, somehow he doesn’t even really care that anyone knows. All he cares about is killing this clown and saving his friends. 

“Time to float Richie,” the clown yells, a second mouth coming out of it’s main one, to try and attach itself to Richie. It's slimy and he can see the veins around the pink moist flesh and it makes him flinch, even if he's seen it before. 

Older Richie shoots again, not once, but twice, and just like that he’s already out of bullets. He swore under his breath, as he hits the gun with the palm of his hand, and the mouth only gets closer. 

He gulped, trying to shoot again and again, but nothing works. Luckily, right before the mouth can attach itself to Richie, younger Richie takes his spear and runs it through the flesh that connects the smaller mouth to the clown. "Fuck you asshole!" Younger Richie screams and the mouth yanks, but doesn’t quite reach older Richie, and just as soon as IT came, it’s laughing again and jumping from the ceiling to the floor.

The losers rush out of the way and Stan, along with Mike find themselves running to the wide open cavern.

“Guys, wait,” older Richie yelled, trying to warn them, but it’s too late, they’re already there, and the clown moves, makes itself small enough to fit in the space.

Richie tries to catch up with it, to get it while it’s still small, but to no avail. By the time he reaches the cavern, Pennywise is growing again, and even though he doesn’t get as big as last time, he’s still intimidating.

“I’ve been hungry. How’d you know Richie? It was so nice of you to get me a snack,” Pennywise mocks him and he huffs. He’s not sure how Pennywise knew it was him, but Pennywise seems to know a lot and he tries to not let it phase him.

He looks around for the others, but doesn’t see anyone. He’s the only one currently in the cavern and somehow he feels like maybe he’s the only one not being played with. 

....

Beverly tries to breathe, she feels like she’s suffocating, and she’s having a panic attack. The room is quickly flooding with blood and she’s screaming. She’s in that stall again, the one where Greta had taunted her while she was taking a smoke break, graffiti scribbled all over the walls . The blood is flowing through the bottom and she steps on top of the toilet, trying to get away from the blood, but it’s rushing in fast, it only takes a few seconds for the blood to get halfway up the toilet. 

Then out from the blood, her father emerges, covered head to toe, and his sickly yellow teeth come out from behind his smile. “Beverly, my little girl, you look just like your mother,” her father says, putting his hands on her face, and putting his thumb on her lips. He smiles creepily at her and he’s strong, really strong, but she flinches away, kicking him with as much muster as she can, so that he stumbled onto the floor, blood flowing over his body until he's gone, blood moving so fast that it starts to cover her feet. She yells again and Ben hears her.

The walls are enclosing on him and it's rough against his belly. He feels like he’s being squeezed open and he hears laughing. Beverly’s laugh. “I could never like a fat boy! I could never like a fat boy! You’re getting squeezed like a blueberry fat boy! If only you’d given up that chocolate bar, then you wouldn’t die!” She laughs again and Ben tells himself, _ it’s not real. It’s not real._

He ignores fake Beverly’s laugh for a second and puts his hands over his ears. He feels like he’s probably going to die, which only makes him cry. The walls close in further and it scrapes at his shirt, ripping it, and it goes even far enough to start a small cut so that he starts bleeding. He hisses, trying his best to ignore the pain. 

_ You’ve got to be brave. You’ve got to be brave, _Ben continuously thinks, and then he hears it. Beverly is screaming and then he’s pushing. He’s pushing the walls away hard, he has to move, he has to save Beverly.

The walls start to move away, not by much, but enough so that he can climb up. He takes the steps, he tries to breathe and not suffocate. The walls still enclose him, his foot gets stuck, but he lets his shoe fall to the floor, and he can see the opening. He’s almost there. 

Then, just like that, he sees Beverly and then he’s grabbing her hand and they land on a thud on the floor. Pennywise is nowhere to be seen.

Ben’s relieved, he can feel breathe, and he's looking at Beverly with admiration in his eyes. He hugs her, holds her tight, letting out a sigh of relief. 

_ Thank god she's alive, _he thinks, and when he looks at her, she's smiling at him, and he suddenly feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. 

"Your hair is winter fire," he thinks out loud. 

"January embers. My heart burns there too," she says, eyes glowing, and she kisses him. It’s short, much like the kiss when Ben saved Beverly from the dead-lights, but it was sweet, and Ben can taste her vanilla chapstick. 

When they part, Ben is beaming and Beverly mimics him, giving him a reassuring smile. They stare at each other for a moment, before they hear a scream, Stanley’s scream, and then Ben takes Beverly’s hand, so that they’re running to the noise together.

It’s not far from where they’re at and once they get there, they see Judith. The lady that was sucking on Stan’s face mere months ago, that almost killed him and she’s hovering over Stan, Stanley holding up his fence post awkwardly in front of him.

He cowers in fear in front of them, and he closes his eyes for a second, accepting his fate. He knew he was the weakest link. He knew it. He should have never agreed to come down here and now he was going to die; but nothing comes.

He doesn’t feel the breath on his face anymore, so he opens his eyes, seeing Pennywise’s foaming mouth over Beverly, a spear already lodged into its chest.

“I will eat your soul and shit it out Beverly,” Pennywise spits at her, black sludge dripping from it’s lips onto Beverly’s shoes. She’s shaking and Ben is putting an arm in front of her, as to tell Pennywise to back the fuck off. 

They stand like that for a moment and Stan doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid. Really afraid and he almost died, but seeing Beverly and Ben in danger like that awakens something in him, so he takes the spear in his hand and lunges it into Pennywise’s back, two spears now sporting through. 

It falters and more black sludge mixed with Pennywise's red blood drops from it’s mouth, and it burns Ben’s arm.

He takes his arm away in a hurry and swears under his breath as he sees the scar on his arm blister.

Pennywise steps back and away from the three teens, letting its arms grow again, as it transforms itself back into a spider.

.....

Eddie and young Richie hold each other tightly as they look underneath them. The floor is caving in and they’re on a small platform. Eddie is crying and Richie is trying his best to not let his feelings get the best of him. He wants to be brave, he does, and it isn't real, but it feels so real that he can't help but tremble at the sight of the ground beneath him.

Eddie can barely see the bottom, it looks as far as the cliff by the quarry, except this time, there isn’t any water, it’s the hard cold cavern ground. 

Another part of the floor breaks, leaving them both to squeal loudly and Richie is basically carrying Eddie now. He can barely hold on. His feet are slipping and he’s hyperventilating. _ This isn’t real, this isn’t real. _

Another section falls and Richie puts his feet together as close as possible, Eddie is slipping from his grasp and he’s screaming. Richie loses grip of the blow torch first. He doesn’t even hear a clang as it falls into the void, which only scares the boy more. He tries not to cry, the tears already starting to pool in his eyes, as he pulls Eddie up a little more. 

“Richie, help me, Richie,” Eddie yelps, trying to hold on to Richie tightly, but the thing is Richie isn’t that strong and yes Eddie is small for his age. He’s smaller than Richie and Richie can hold him up, but the longer it goes on, the harder it is to keep Eddie from falling. He doesn’t have the room to try and re-position themselves. He barely has two feet on the platform. 

“Eddie, I’m sorry, I’m trying Eddie, I’m trying.” Richie yells. 

He tries to hoist Eddie up again, but it doesn’t work, because he slips, then they’re both falling on the ground.

It’s not as high up as either was believed it to be, but they fall far enough for them to both land on the ground and pass out. 

......

Bill looks at Pennywise's clone of himself in the eye as he shoots him, "we didn't kill our little brother. We loved him," he says, watching as Pennywise transforms himself, but Bill doesn't back down, only smirks at the clown before him.

“I’m not scared of you. You know that and I think that scares you,” Bill says, taking his spear for the second time and lodging it into the monster’s throat. 

Pennywise backs up and out of the basement, trying it’s best to find the energy to move.Then the illusion disappears and Bill sees Pennywise as the spider in the middle of the cavern. 

.....

“Mike, help me!” His mother screams, body on fire, as she goes to grab Mike’s hand. Mike walks backwards, and he feels like he might pass out. His mother is clearly looking at him and she’s scared, really scared, and all Mike wants to do is grab her hand, pull her out, but it’s not real, he knows it isn’t.

His mother falls on the floor then, weeping. “Mike, please, I’m dying. Mike, baby, I love you!” She screams and her skin is bubbling, she’s weak, barely moving.

“Mike!” She screams and Mike closes his eyes, tears falling from his eyes, trying his best to stay standing. He feels weak and he hears her yell his name again, so he puts his hands over his ears.

“MIKE! MIKE! MIKE!”

He trembles, hoping for it to end, but it doesn’t. She keeps yelling his name and he falls to his knees. 

He’s whimpering, curled into himself, and if it couldn’t get any worse, he hears his dad’s voice too.

“Mike, help us!” He hears and the thoughts rush through again. He misses his parents so much, so much that it kills him, and here he is seeing them again, dying in front of him. He wants so badly to end the pain. He wants them back and he has to remind himself that he couldn’t save them. They were gone. It happened a long time ago and he had to accept that Pennywise was just trying to torment him and yes, it was working. 

“Please stop,” he whispers, shaking, and then he hears a chuckle. “I can bring them back,” Pennywise says. “Let him help us,” his mother says and he shakes his head, "he'll bring us back Mike." He lets it torment him for a minute before he can’t take it anymore.

“You’re not my mother,” he says, taking out his gun and piercing her in the head, then he goes over to his dad, whose eyes are piercing and full of fear, but he knows it isn’t real, so even when he hears his dad mutter his name again, he does the same to his father too. 

Once he fires into his dad’s head, he turns on his heel, runs away and fast, not looking back, until he’s met with Stanley, Beverly, and Ben.

....

Future Richie feels like he’s lost Pennywise for a second and he keeps on alert as he searches for either him or any of the other losers.

_ I hope they’re okay, _he thinks as he makes his way around the cavern and then he sees it.

It's a door and it's labelled _ 'scary'. _The other two doors that are usually present are not there, which Richie already knows is weird. He takes a moment to look around, deciding whether or not to let himself open the door. 

He thinks it's a bad idea, but at curiosity blooms inside his chest, he takes the knob in his hand, and when he opens it, adult Eddie is standing there, chest wound and blood oozing from his mouth. "Richie, I-" he says, blood flowing and dripping onto the ground. Eddie’s skin is bruised and he even has the stab wound on his cheek. Richie leaves the door open, shocked, he doesn't move, and he forgets everything for a moment. 

“You’re a faggot, that’s gross,” Eddie says, blood bubbling from his mouth as he talks. “You’re so gross Richie. It’s so gross how obsessed you are with me,” he says, smiling at him, more blood oozing from his mouth.

“You aren’t real,” Richie says after a few seconds, but he doesn’t seem so sure, he asks it more as a question than anything. He doesn’t even take a step back, not yet. 

He smirks. “I’m so real that you came all the way back to save me. You’re so pathetic Richie and now, we're all going to die,” Pennywise Eddie says, laughing after the word die and Richie takes a deep breath, taking a step back, going to close the door, but Eddie holds it open, taking a step out, so Richie takes a step back. 

It takes only a few seconds before adult Eddie is shaking violently, black ooze drips from his mouth, similar to 13 year old Eddie popping up from the cushion and Richie stares, eyes wide. Then, Eddie is transforming, first with a clown leg, then an arm, and then Pennywise is looking at him. Richie doesn’t have a weapon, but he still stares at Pennywise in determination, he doesn't back down, because he's not scared. He won't be. 

Pennywise doesn’t move for a moment, only stares, till IT opens its mouth wide, and just like that, he’s in the dead-lights again. 

.....

Bill finds future Richie dangling in the air by an open mouthed Pennywise. He’s unmoving, mouth ajar, and Pennywise’s mouth is shining, it’s bright and Bill shakes his head. He’s not sure what to do. He no longer has his spear and he doesn’t know where any of the other losers are. He looks around, trying to find a weapon, but the best he could do is throw a rock.

So that’s what he does. Doesn’t even think for a second before he throws the rock as hard as he can at the creature and yells “ROCK WAR!”

He doesn’t stop, picking up rock after rock and Ben, Beverly, Stan, and Mike follow suit, throwing rocks from every direction. 

One directly hits Pennywise in the throat and the lights stop shining, dropping future Richie to the ground. 

IT stalks toward Bill in a blind rage, his spider body growing bigger again, trying to pierce him with his spider legs, but it doesn’t work, Bill moves quickly, and the rocks don’t stop hitting Pennywise.

IT grumbles, looking around as rock after rock hits him all across his spider clown body. 

“You’re just a stupid clown!” Stanley yells at him. “Yeah, just a stupid fucking clown!’ Beverly yells, hitting another rock at Pennywise. He shrivels a little, dizzy, and when all hope is lost for our dear old clown, he spots two fainted forms on the ground. 

He smirks, trembling towards the two boys who were still asleep, and as he approaches, the clicking of his spider feet awake Eddie. His eyes open and close for a few seconds, fluttering open. He’s dizzy, he has a faint headache, and his body hurts all over.

He grumbles, sitting up lazily, and looking up, he sees a spider clown running, or I guess stumbling towards him. His eyes widen and he goes to stand up, but his legs hurt so bad, that he barely gets himself into the crouching position.

When Pennywise is only a few feet away, he gets himself up in a limp. He’s pretty sure he sprained his ankle and when he’s ready to run or more or less, limp away, he notices Richie lying on the ground next to him.

_ Fuck. _

Eddie looks frantically between the clown and Richie, knowing he didn’t have much time. His friends were still throwing rocks, but soon Bill runs out of rocks, and the rocks thrown by the other four are getting a lot smaller.

They keep yelling at him, calling him names, and Pennywise is growing smaller, but he’s still smirking. Still has the eyes set for murder as he puts Eddie in the dead-lights too.

Everyone goes silent for a second, looking frantically for more rocks, and running towards the middle, where the rocks that were thrown before were.

Eddie looks deep into the lights, unable to breathe, and he starts floating up. Lost in the shine deep into the clown and Pennywise stalks closer.

Like fate would decide it, Richie wakes up too, with a dull headache, and he sees Eddie floating in front of him, Pennywise’s light shining on him. Richie doesn’t look, but he pulls on Eddie, trying to get him to come down, as Bill finds one of the spears and throws it at the back of the IT’s head. 

IT stumbles and the light stops shining, which leaves Eddie to stop floating and Richie is able to carry him down, laying him down on the ground, trying to wake him up.

He shakes him frantically, which doesn’t work, because the smaller boy doesn’t even move.

Richie looks behind him, he sees that Pennywise is pretty distracted right now, but that doesn't mean for long. 

He shakes Eddie again, “come on Eddie!” he yelled, slapping at his face and pushing on his chest, but nothing happens, and he remembers Ben.

When Beverly was in the dead-lights, Ben kissed her and she woke up. 

_ This can not be happening, _Richie thinks for a moment before sighing. 

He decides to first kiss him on the cheek, and then went straight to yelling in Eddie’s ear.

“I FUCKED YOUR MOM! COME ON EDS! YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE ASS!” 

Richie waits, hoping that the insulting would somehow get Eddie riled up enough to wake up, like he could hear him. He’s expecting to have to try and kiss him on the lips or possibly bring Beverly over to kiss Eddie. 

However, Eddie opens his eyes seconds later, he’s in a daze for the second time in the course of 5 minutes, his head now pounding.

“What?” He asks, bringing his hands to clutch onto Richie's shirt without thinking about it. 

“Oh, thank fuck you’re okay,” Richie says, hugging him, and Eddie surprised, takes a few seconds before he takes the hand that was awkwardly between them and wraps his arms around his friend too.

He holds him, holds him because he knows he almost just died, and he’s still here, somehow. Still here with Richie and even though he wants to continue the moment, the reunion is quickly ruined. 

Pennywise’s spider leg comes up like a flash and goes to stab the two boys on the ground in the chest.

Eddie rolls with Richie, letting the spider leg crush the rock next to them, and then the leg comes down again, leaving them to roll again.

They scream and Richie is crying, as they dance with the clown. It laughs at them, continuing to try and step on them, until more rocks are thrown again.

“You’re just a bully!” Ben yells, “a fucking stupid bully!” Mike chirps. “A bitch!” Stan yells.

“You’re a clown!” Bill pipes up, throwing another rock, and Pennywise stops. Looking at the five losers in front of him.

“You’re just a stupid clown,” Beverly yells, chucking a rock at the monster too.

They all glare at him, determined and his face starts to wrinkle. He looks worn and when he speaks, he sounds like an elderly chainsmoker. 

“You-u-u c-a-n’t defeat me! I’m i-m-mortal. You see, I’ll be-e back! I always come back!” It yells, but it doesn’t seem to be confident, they can all tell it’s scared. 

Pennywise scrambles, unsure of what to do, he knows he's about to be met with his demise, and then he sees him. His last chance of survival or even revenge would be something at this point. 

“You can’t defeat me! Not without your future boy!” IT yells and they all look at him confusingly for a second before they see future Richie, only a few steps away from Pennywise. 

Pennywise laughs, even though he’s shriveling, and he takes a few steps back to be next to future Richie, who is still asleep. 

“He’ll die! If you don’t let me go he’ll die! HAHAHA. There is no way for you to save him,” Pennywise yells, taking one of his spider legs up, so it would rest on future Richie’s belly.

“He knew he was risking your lives, but he didn’t care! You see! He’s selfish! You’re all just selfish little brats!” IT is talking hysterically now and IT tries it’s best to not falter. 

“You know what happens to boys like you, don’t you Richie?” The monster laughs, digging his leg a little further into older Richie’s belly. It hasn’t quite went through to hurt any organs, but he’s bleeding, even if it’s not by much.

The losers stare, unsure of what to do, and when Pennywise laughs again, Eddie screams and tackles the wrinkling clown to the ground. 

“You’re just a fucking stupid clown! A clown! You can’t hurt us, you fucking bastard!”

Pennywise fumbles, falling to the ground. He looks like an inflated ball with a clown face, small spider legs on its sides and the other losers pull at them, until he’s nothing but a beating heart in a sack of wrinkled flesh. 

Eddie is the first to dive into his chest, not thinking of the germs, or anything, and so do the other losers. Then, with the monsters beating heart in all their small pubescent hands, they rip it apart, till it’s shattered in a million pieces. The clown fades into different pieces and the cavern starts crumbling, rocks falling from the sky.

“We gotta go!” Mike yells, running towards the hole, and so do most of the other losers, until they remember Richie.

Younger Richie, Eddie, and Beverly ran to him, he’s fluttering his eyes open, obviously still recovering from the dead-lights and they all tug at him at the same time.

He mumbled, “I’m awake, I'm awake,” but he’s still lying on the ground and he’s heavy. The place is collapsing around them and they need to get him out. 

“Get up! Get up!” Beverly yells, as they try to hoist him up again, and that’s when younger Richie takes things into his own hands, he bitch slaps his older self, completely waking the adult up. 

“Owe, what the fuck?” Older Richie yells, looking around himself, seeing the crumbling cavern around him.

“What happened?” He asks and the three pull at him again.

“Later. Come on, we have to go,” Beverly yells and yeah, okay, that sounded like a good idea. 

He finally gets himself up and he goes to start running, but he sees younger Richie and Eddie behind him, grasping onto each other as they tried to walk. It was easy to see that younger Richie was sore and Eddie’s ankle was most definitely sprained. 

So, he carried Eddie on his back, and pulled Richie up by his belly. It was honestly kind of awkward and he was too out of shape for this, but luckily both teens were skinny and short.

He lifted Richie as far as he could up so that the boy could start climbing up the hole and he found himself pushing younger Richie, as he climbed with Eddie on his back.

He was exhausted and the grumbling only got worse as they continued to run. Richie’s body felt like it was on fire. He was on hyper-drive as he carried both teens to the well and that’s when he didn’t know what to do.

The rope to climb up the well. How were they supposed to do it? 

Young Richie tried first, barely able to move and as he struggled, their surroundings only got worse, and the losers had to pull Richie up by the rope. Same went with Eddie and once older Richie got onto the rope, the sewer water started splashing and he could tell it was caving in, so he grabbed the rope in a hurry, pulling himself so fast, that his old PE teacher would have been proud and carrying both boys in opposite arms, basically falling out the front door, past the fence, and onto the ground. 

The whole place collapsed in front of them and okay, maybe in the first timeline trying to carry adult Eddie wouldn’t have worked, because even with two conscious hurt boys, he barely got them out. Literally got out on the skin of his teeth and man, if he used an inhaler, he could really use one right now. He can barely breathe and he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. 

“I can’t believe we did it,” Stan said smiling. “We won guys! We’re alive, holy shit!”

“Barely,” young Richie says. “I feel like I've broken every bone in my body,” he says as he weeps on the ground. 

“I lost my inhaler down there,” Eddie whispers, taking deep breaths, like maybe he’s about to have an attack. 

“Do I need to go to the pharmacy?” Bill asked and Eddie shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t need it. I don’t think I ever did.”

“I lost my shoe,” Ben adds and it’s silent for a second, until Eddie chuckled, and everyone else smiles. 

“Oh my god,” adult Richie says, trying to comprehend the situation and calm his breathing. He’s alive. He took his second chance and it worked, or at least that’s the way it seemed. They won and they all lived. Richie had carried almost 200 lbs of boy from down in the cavern and he’s honestly surprised he was able to do it. He’s pretty sure it was pure adrenaline, because now his arms and legs felt like noodles. 

“Are you okay?” Mike asked adult Richie and he shook his head, because no he was not okay. He just possibly changed the future and he’s also never been more winded in his life.

“Yeah, I just-” he took a deep breath, “I just need to rest,” another breath “second.”

“Okay,” Mike said, looking at the rest of the losers, who all breathless, smiled at each other. 

“We’re gonna be okay,” Beverly said, smiling as she grabbed Bill’s and Ben’s shoulders, hugging their sides.

“Yeah,” Bill said. “We are.”

“You’re not stuttering Bill,” Stan noted and Bill smiled.

“No, I guess not.”

“Okay, I think I can breathe now,” future Richie said with a cough, “but I might need a water before I leave.”

Beverly nodded. “I think we all need water.”

“I’ll get us some,” Ben said. “Just meet back at the club house.”

The losers nodded, but Eddie shook his head, still lying on the ground.

“I can’t, my mom will kill me.”

“You survived the last time, didn’t you?” Older Richie asked, remembering the last time they fought IT and how Eddie had been gone for 24 hours straight. This time he’d only been gone for a few. It wasn’t even quite curfew yet.

Eddie didn’t say anything and younger Richie looked over at him.

“Come on, if you don’t go, then you won’t be able to hear mine and Mrs.K’s wedding story.”

“You’re so gross,” Eddie said, sitting up, and groaning.

“I can get you a brace too, if you want Eddie,” Ben said and Eddie nodded.

“That would be wonderful,” and just like that Ben was gone. The rest of the losers made their way to the club house and it didn’t take long for Ben to arrive with a gallon of water, glasses, and a foot brace. 

“I just wanted to say how proud I am of all of you,” older Richie perches up after taking a few sips of water. “You all fought hard down there and we did it, we defeated IT. The same way we did in 27 years, except this time, we all made it, and I couldn’t be happier.”

The losers smile and Beverly brings up her glass. 

“Let’s cheers to Richie,” she says, and the other losers put their glasses up to.

“To Richie?”

“To Richie.”

He smiles, blushing, and taking another sip from his glass. “Thanks guys. You're the best.”

Richie sits for a moment, watches the other losers mingle for a minute, before he realizes he should probably get back.

Except maybe, he should talk to them first, but preferably alone. There was some advice he needed to give before he went. 

“Hey, so I think I’m going to go,” older Richie starts, “but I think it might be best to talk to you all first. Alone.”

The losers look at him and nod.

“Alright,” Beverly says, “who first?”

Richie looks around, knowing he wants to talk to himself last, so he points to Bill. 

All the losers leave the clubhouse giving them their space and Richie thinks for a second. Wondering what to tell Bill that might help.

He thinks of what to say, because Bill was successful. He had a wife and as far as he was aware, Bill was alright. Well, as alright as he could be with the curse of Pennywise and losing his brother. 

There was one thing though. One thing that he felt Bill might need. 

"I'm not sure how to say this, but I wanted you to know that Georgie would be proud. So proud of you and even if we couldn't save him. You saved our friends and most of all, you saved me and I could not be more grateful."

Bill nodded, "Thanks Richie. Thanks for everything," he smiles and pulls future Richie in a hug.

The hug is short and sweet, much like the conversation, but future Richie didn’t have that much to offer Bill, but somehow he felt like it still meant a lot to the boy. 

...

Richie goes through the rest of the losers. He tells Beverly to understand her worth and that "we accept the love we think we deserve", but she deserves the world and to accept no less than that. He tells Ben it gets better if he keeps fighting. He tells Stanley he's proud of him and that he's strong. Lastly, he tells Mike to get the fuck out of Derry. 

Now, he's sitting in a room alone with Eddie who doesn't even let him start before he's asking him a question. 

"Do I end up alone?" He asked quietly, nervously fiddling with his fingers. 

"No," Richie says, "no, in my timeline you're married." 

"Then why did you laugh before?" Eddie asks seriously, looking as if he's about to choke. He's worried and the thought that his future would be with someone awful, made his stomach churn. 

"I uh, listen Eddie, it's nothing. I just-, don't marry someone you don't love. Let's leave it at that."

"No, I'm not just going to "leave it at that.” I need to know Rich. Otherwise I'll spend my whole life in fear of being married or just being in a relationship in general. I saved your life back there you know. You owe me an answer, just this one. Who do I get married to in the future and why did you laugh?"

Richie sighed, wondering how far he should take this. I mean, he wasn't even sure if he didn't love Myra or not. He thinks Eddie was leaving Myra, but it was hard to tell. It wasn't something that Eddie really wanted to talk about and even if he was thinking about it. Even if he was probably going to, didn't mean he wouldn't get back with her.

He just wants Eddie to be happy and alive. He's afraid if he tells Eddie its Myra, that he'll ruin Eddie's future. It can't though. Myra was just like his mom, Eddie told him that, and he knows he deserves someone who doesn't treat him like he'll break every second.

Eddie was a lot stronger than he put himself out to be and he needed to be with someone who reminded him of that. Not someone who made him feel weak, when that wasn't the case. 

"Well, in my timeline you marry a woman and her name is Myra. She's basically your mom in every way and I'm pretty sure you're unhappy. It seemed like you wanted to leave her. But I don't know. I've also never met her, so I wouldn't completely write her off, but I'd be careful about it. Just don't marry someone you don't love."

Eddie looks down for a second, confused, and not knowing what to say. Richie can’t read his expression and he’s pretty sure he just fucked up Eddie’s marriage, which makes him feel like an asshole.

“I get married.”

“Yes.”

“To..to a woman?” Eddie asks like he thinks Richie might be joking and Richie furrows his brows at him.

“Yes, why do you sound surprised?”

“I don’t know. It feels weird. Knowing I get married. Is she really just like my mother?”

“From the sounds of it, yes. Like I said, I never met her before.”

“We stopped being friends?” Eddie asked and he looks scared. Like maybe he was about to cry.

“Well, yes, but we all forgot each other in my timeline. Once you leave Derry, you forget everything. It was weird. But, once we all came back, it was like nothing had changed. I think now that Pennywise is gone, we won’t forget each other. Something with the curse or whatever.”

Eddie nods, “I really don’t want to lose my friends. I feel like my mom doesn’t understand me and I’m afraid that I’ll never escape her. I’m not even sick, but I still feel like I am sometimes. I’m fragile.”

“Hey,” older Richie says, letting his hand reach out to touch the kids shoulder. “You are not fragile, no matter what they say. You said you saved me, right? You defeated a killer clown and you're only a kid. That’s badass.”

Eddie smiles, nodding. “Yeah, it was.”

“You’re braver than you think,” Richie finds himself saying to the second loser today, feeling a thick sense of deja vu. 

“Thanks,” Eddie says, letting out a deep breath. “You're my best friend, you know that right?” Eddie says and Richie nods.

“I know.”

He finds himself in a hug with younger Eddie for a second and he can tell that Eddie is tearing up. The tears are wet on his t-shirt and after a few seconds, he’s letting go, and Eddie is walking up the stairs to let younger Richie walk down.

“So, are you here to tell me of all the hot babes I’ll be getting in California or how I become famous and am chased by screaming models?”

“Well, for one, you don’t get chased, ever. You get a lot of people asking for autographs and pictures, but they’re usually kids who are way too young to be listening to you or middle aged men who are definitely not there because they want to bang you.”

“Listening, woah, am I a famous rock star?!” Young Richie asks and older Richie shakes his head.

“You’re a horrible singer. Like really bad, you should know that and you can play an instrument mediocre at best.”

“Harsh.”

“Well you asked for it,” older Richie starts, trying to remember what he was meant to say in the first place.

“You only get somewhere with working your ass off. Just because it happened to me, doesn’t mean it happens to you. Me coming back here is changing the future you know.”

“I know, I was just bantering as a self defense mechanism because I’m afraid of having a serious conversation.”

“Wow, is that the first time you admitted that?”

“Well, you should know Dick. You are me.”

“Did you just call me Dick?”

“Yeah, short for Richard, I’m surprised nobody calls me that.”

“Well, people will start calling you that, but not really because of your name,” older Richie starts. “But, anyaways, I just wanted to say that before I go, I think you should be more honest with yourself. There is no need to be afraid.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“You know what I’m talking about. You know, you fall in love with a girl, or I did at least, for a little while.”

Young Richie pauses, older Richie thinks he may of short circuited, but after a few seconds, he speaks. 

“What happened?” 

“It just didn’t work out. I don’t think I was ever truly in love with her. I think I never really got over everything that happened in Derry, but I sort of forgot about it.”

“You think that it didn’t work out because you were hung up on someone else?” Richie asks, his heart beat quickening as he notices what that could mean for him. 

“Not necessarily. I think that I just, there was something missing. There always was and I think not being honest with myself or anyone else made love really hard for me. Repressing really fucked me up. I regret it.”

Young Richie goes silent. It’s a weird sight and he only nods, he doesn’t say anything. He feels uncomfortable, for lots of reasons, but mainly because the closet stares at him straight in the face, haunting his dreams, and now he see's himself in it, unable to open it, suffocating under the lack of oxygen.

“I’m not trying to scare you kid. I promise; and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just want you to be happier than I am. I’m 40 and single; and even though you can be happy single. There is nothing wrong with it, but I just think I could be happier. I feel like my life has zoomed by me and even though I’m rich or whatever you wanna call it, I feel like my heart is missing something.”

Young Richie is silent for a second and older Richie can tell he’s thinking. He doesn’t take long before he says, “that was pretty gay.”

Older Richie nods, “yeah, it was.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment and I will highly think about it. I won’t forget this or you or my friends. So, thanks for the advice, and for saving everyone. I honestly didn’t really like myself, but you being here, and being so cool has kind of made me love myself.”

“Wow, I can’t believe that. A 13 year old likes me. I’m a 40 year old dork and you like me.”

“Yeah, well, I am a dork so..... And don’t let anyone know,” he says, going over to his older self and hugging him. It feels nice. He feels like for once in his life, that someone was really caring, listening to Richie. He was scared, but at the same time, he couldn’t feel more ready for the future. 

“Alright, that’s enough sap for one day,” older Richie says, letting go of himself, saying one last thing before leaving the club house. 

“I believe in you.”

Then, he’s out of the clubhouse, waving at the rest of the losers, who smile as he walks to the library, calls a cab again, and makes his way to Al’s diner.

It’s late and the diner is closed. There are no cars in the parking lot or on the street. Richie doesn’t see a single soul in sight. Richie didn’t plan for that, but he could adapt, and nobody was here so that would make breaking in a little easier. 

So, Richie went to the back, broke the lock to the door, let the alarm go off, as he ran to the pantry, and walked inside, praying that when he stepped out, he’d be met with one man show, because he wasn’t about to get arrested. 

Luckily when he opened the pantry again, it was light out, and that was the first good sign. He took a sigh of relief, as he rushed out the kitchen, noticing one man show handing a milkshake to a kid. He didn’t even notice that Richie had come out from behind the counter. 

That’s when Richie noticed his table, which had his phone and keys. Once he opened his phone, he lost his breath, seeing 4 missed calls from his manager and 2 from Eddie, which were time stamped from today.

He smiled, quickly taking out his phone and called Eddie.

_ This could not be real, it just couldn’t. It worked? What if Eddie was dead. What if he was just hallucinating, what if-. _

“Hello,” Richie hears Eddie say over the receiver and he drops his phone on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows what that chapter was, but here it is. From this point on, it's gonna be Richie and Eddie mostly.


	4. What Happened Those Next Few Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things change, but most things don't.

Homecoming 1989:

Beverly held Ben’s hand tightly in hers as they danced, Ben spun Beverly around as they smiled at each other, and Beverly pecked Ben’s lips. He smiled brightly at her, it felt like a dream, like it wasn’t real, and Ben really wished this wasn’t Beverly’s last dance in Derry.

He didn’t think about that though, he lived in the moment, and continued to smile at his girlfriend. 

Richie watched the couple in envy, as him and Eddie stayed on the sidelines drinking punch. Well, Richie was drinking the punch and Eddie refused, worried that someone had spiked it.

No one had, but even so, Richie couldn’t care less either way.

He really wished he could dance, but it made him nervous, and they did for a little while, but after a slow song came on, they hadn’t gone back out. Which was fine. Eddie didn’t really like dancing too close to the front, because it made him anxious, and all of his friends had dates except them, so it kind of felt like him and Eddie were constantly being the third and fourth wheel. 

Eventually, they decided to sit on a bench towards the back, looking at the rest of the losers as they danced with their dates. They talked for awhile, about everything and nothing. Joking around and talking about Thundercats, but once the DJ said they had one last song and it was a slow song, both him and Eddie had gone eerily silent. 

He was jealous, watching his friends look at their dates, and Richie wished he could too. He wish he had a date, mostly he wished his date was Eddie, but that could never happen. It's 1989 and any gay man or woman was a dead one. It wasn't like Eddie was anything but straight anyways. 

Richie liked girls too. He thought they were pretty, wouldn't mind kissing one either, he just doesn't crush on girls much and if he does, they don't last long or are very strong. 

Not since he started developing a crush for his best friend. Man, he hated his life. It would be so easy if Eddie was a girl or even just not around so that he could crush on girls freely without coming back to his main crush. 

He sighed, letting the silence brew longer, as he continued to stare at his friends. 

It was almost like Eddie could tell Richie was tense. To be fair, that's not hard, if Richie is silent that means something is wrong. 

Because only a minute of thinking and watching his friends, Eddie had reached his hand out, brushing his fingertips on the top of Richie's hand resting on the bench, as if he was testing the waters, before fully resting his hand on top of Richie's. 

Richie looked over at Eddie confusingly, but he didn't say anything. He just stared at their friends too. His cheeks were red, probably due to the cold fall air leaking in. They were close to the doors and their suits didn't do much to keep them warm. 

Eddie was grinning and Richie decided it was best not to say anything. He barely moved. He couldn't really breathe. He didn't understand why Eddie would do something like this. Sure, it was comforting, but it was also just kinda.....gay and if anyone saw, _ oh boy would they be so fucked. _

But Eddie didn't move. He didn't even seem concerned when the song ended. So, Richie didn't move either. Future Richie reminding him not to be scared and to not repress, he wasn't going to let something so small phases him. 

So, he left his hand there, waiting for Eddie to move and he didn't, not even when their friends came over. 

"Hey guys, ready to go back to Bill's?" Beverly asks them, holding Ben's hand, and Richie can see Ben stare at their hands. Notices Bev look for a second, before looking at them, not saying a word. None of them say anything, but they all notice, and it makes Richie feel like he's about to hyperventilate. 

He still doesn't move his hand. 

"I um kinda have to get home. My mom will kill me if I stay too late. I practically had to beg her to let me go without her picking me up at 8," Eddie says, sighing, disappointed. 

"The dance started at 7," Mike said and Eddie nodded. 

"You know how my mom is. Sorry guys, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"See ya," Bill says with a wave and the rest of the losers follow. 

"You coming Richie?" Mike asks and _ oh, right _. They were all supposed to hang out post-dance and Eddie wasn't going. 

Eddie wasn't going and he likely was going to walk home, so Richie won't go. He couldn't leave Eddie hanging. 

"Nah, I'm a little tired. I think I'll go home."

Mike raises an eyebrow at him. Richie never says no to hanging out, especially to a reason of being "tired", but Mike lets it be, waving and catching up with his date. 

Neither of the boys say anything to each other, even when the other losers are gone. It's almost as if they're scared that if they say anything to each other that they'll have to acknowledge what they're doing. 

It's stupid. They are barely touching and both their hands are sweaty, but it means the world to both of them, even if neither of them will admit it. 

Once the gym is practically empty and people start cleaning up, Eddie gets up and instead of letting his hand leave Richie's, he's pulling Richie up and intertwines their fingers together. 

Richie can't breathe and he can't talk. He's lost for words and Eddie's face is red all over. 

Richie had no idea that the cold was affecting him so badly. I mean, it’s fall, but Eddie looks like it’s below zero. He’s shaking and Richie is sure it’s because it’s cold, but Eddie’s hand is warm and sweaty, probably due to Richie’s own hand. That may even be the reason why Eddie’s still clutching on to his hand. 

He wants to ask Eddie if he's okay, but he's still afraid that Eddie might drop his hand if he does anything. 

He just stared, watching Eddie look at the ground for a few moments, before looking up at Richie, barely able to look at him. 

"Let's go, yeah?" Eddie asks and he sounds nervous for whatever reason. Richie isn't sure why. 

"Uh... yeah," he says, hesitation in his voice.

Eddie squeezes his hand and they walk out into the cold fall air, standing close, as their arms sway back and forth. 

They eventually get to talking and they don't talk about their hands. It takes a while, but soon, they talk like both of them had forgotten. Eddie spitfire talks and jumps a bit when he does, making Richie giggle, because of how cute it is. Richie even brings his left hand to poke Eddie in the rib, making him yelp. Somehow the hands get tighter and they get closer, but then, they reach Eddie's house. 

Eddie frowns and sighs, but he let's their hands go and Richie is disappointed for a half second. That is, until half a second later, Eddie is hugging him, face nuzzling Richie's neck and Richie is sure he's never had a hug as intimate as this one. It makes his stomach grow with butterflies and his heart flips. 

For once Richie is silent and Eddie expects him to say something. To laugh it off, but he doesn't, he just hugs back, and it's weird. Really weird, but it's nice, and when Richie let's go, he regrets not kissing him. 

Eddie waits a moment, as if he's expecting it, doe like brown eyes looking at Richie's like he wants something, but nothing comes, and Eddie finds himself letting go of him, waving to Richie, walking into his front door.

He smiles and even though Richie didn't get everything he wanted, it was enough. It was more than enough, for now at least.

It was a start into something that neither boy got to experience the first go through. 

....

FALL 1989:

Beverly still moves that fall, but she remembers, and that's the most important part. She promises to write and call. She does. She calls Richie and Ben the most. It becomes almost a daily occurrence. Whenever Richie or her can't call the other, they'll let the other know beforehand. It becomes routine and Richie misses her. Maybe not as much as Ben, but Beverly is one of his best friends. She means everything to him and even though he never sees her, most of the time it's like she never left at all. 

....

Richie stops going to the arcade after that summer. Even though he knows that Henry is gone, the thought of seeing that boy or even anyone who witnessed what happened last time, shakes him to the core. 

They still call him a faggot at school, but it could be worse, and the arcade was his time to have fun, not be humiliated and paranoid, so he doesn’t go. 

Eddie notices. 

"Why don't you go to the arcade anymore?" Eddie asks one fall afternoon. 

It's Saturday and it's only the two. Currently they're sitting in Eddie's room with the door propped open. Eddie is working on homework, while Richie lazily lays on his bed, throwing a ball into the air and sighing every 30 seconds due to boredom. 

"I don't know. I think the real question here is why are you doing homework on a Saturday when we could literally be doing anything else?”

“Unlike you, I’m not a brainyach. I have to try in school to do good and don’t change the subject,” Eddie says, writing on his paper, continuing his homework.

“I told you, I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been busy," Richie says, very unconvincingly.

“Pfft, yeah okay. You don’t go from going to the arcade everyday to never going at all. Besides, what about Wednesday, when we were all busy. What’d you do then?” Eddie asked, continuing to look at his paper, almost finished with his assignment.

Richie knows exactly what he did on Wednesday, he sat at home bored, barely doing anything at all. He actually can’t remember a day he was ever that bored, but he couldn’t let Eddie know that.

“I fucked your mom, duh.”

“That’s not funny, I’m being serious Rich,” Eddie says, turning around in his chair to look at Richie.

“Why don’t you go anymore? It was your favorite place. Did something happen?” Eddie continues, worried about his friend. 

“Why would you think that? Like I told you. I DON’T KNOW. I just haven’t went.”

“That’s bullshit and you know that. You can tell me, ya know. You’re my best friend.”

“Holy shit!” Richie exclaims and Eddie looks back at him confusingly. “What?”

“I’m your best friend,” Richie says, smiling wide, and Eddie rolls his eyes, then scoots his chair a little closer to Richie to hit him in the shoulder.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much. Just, I guess you don’t have to tell me, you don’t have to, but like, I’m here for you,” Eddie says and Richie sighed.

He's scared to tell Eddie. He’s scared that if he says exactly what happened that Eddie will know his sexuality. That Eddie will question Richie until he realizes his embarrassing crush, ruining their friendship forever. 

But that’s the thing. None of the losers reacted to Pennywise telling them he wasn’t straight. They didn’t care or they didn’t seem to care and Eddie already knew what Pennywise said. Didn’t even question it and that’s the only thing that gave him enough courage to tell him. 

“Okay, fine, I was playing street fighter with this dude and when I suggested we play another game, he told me that I wasn’t his “fucking boyfriend” in front of everyone. Henry Bowers yelled at me, called me a faggot, and I don’t know, I guess I’m afraid of being bullied if I went back. It’s not like I have anyone to go with. I don’t have any friends there.”

Eddie stays silent for a second, not knowing what to say for a moment. 

“I uh, I’m sorry. What if I went with you?”

Richie chuckled, shaking his head. “I thought you said video games were a waste of time.”

Eddie shrugs. “I don’t know, I haven’t got to play much. My mom always said they rot your brains, but I mean, I’m sure they're fun. You’ll just have to teach me.”

“Really? You’ll go to the arcade with me?”

“I mean, yeah, sure, but only if you stop with the your mom jokes.”

“But they aren’t jokes, Eddie, my love! They’re true facts.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie rolls his eyes again, pretending to be upset, and giggling in failure.

“Just let me finish my paper and we can go. I have about 5 minutes tops.”

“That works out pretty well for me. I’ll just go bang your mom, considering your mom usually only lasts about 5 minutes anyways.”

“Shut up!”

......

"This is going to be so much fun!" Richie yells, fist full of popcorn in his hands, he's chewing loudly, jumping with every step. "Halloween 5. The Revenge of Michael Myers. I wonder who the victim will be this time. Not your mom I hope, because otherwise I'll need to find a new fuck buddy and-" "Beep beep Richie," Bill says, taking some of Richie's popcorn and making his way to some seats in the back.

"I can't believe that all Bill had to do was wink at the ticket lady and we got in," Mike said. "To be fair, she didn't really seem to care about her job."

"I mean, I wouldn't either. For minimum wage, they'd be lucky if I stayed at my post. I don't understand why they don't just become a hooker like me and get paid to-"

"For being a virgin Richie, you really do talk a big game," Mike says and Richie gasps, putting a hand on his chest.

"Me!? A virgin!? How dare you!"

Stan rolls his eyes. "We're all virgins asshole." 

“Yeah, I’ve never even had my first kiss,” Mike says. “There is nothing wrong with it. We’re only 13.”

  
“Whatever,” Richie says, taking another drink from his oversized and overpriced soda. 

“I haven’t had my first kiss either,” Eddie says. “I think kissing is something special. Not something you do with everyone. That’s how you get mouth herpes. My mom told me about it.”

“Your mom told you about mouth herpes?” Richie asked and Eddie shrugged.

“Not really. She told me about it vaguely, but I knew what she was talking about. You guys talk way too much about STDs by the way.”

“I do not,” Richie says and in unison all the losers say “yes, you do.”

“Fine, maybe i do, but saying your mom has crabs is the best insult.”

  
“Yeah, saying my mom has an STD is so original Rich!” Eddie says and Richie laughs. “I only say it because it’s true!~” he teases and Eddie shoves him in the arm. 

“Stop being an asshole Rich!”

“Fine, if I’m such an asshole, I’m not sharing my popcorn!” Richie exclaims and Eddie pouts. “Okay, that’s not fair!”

  
“Yes it is, you-” before Richie can finish his sentence, the lights dim and Stan hushes them. Richie sulks in his seat, whispering in his ear. 

“You can have some popcorn, but only because I feel bad that I gave your mom herpes.”

Eddie shoves him again, but takes popcorn nonetheless and before he knows it, he’s entranced with the movie, or as much as he can be, with Eddie constantly grasping at him at any given “scary” moment. Bill is on Eddie’s right, but he doesn’t touch him, he only touches Richie, and it makes Richie’s chest warm. 

Eddie grasps his arm, then his hand, and before he knows it, Richie feels Eddie’s hand in his hand and Eddie is putting his face in his shoulder, half looking at the movie, and half hiding. It’s funny, but it’s also incredibly cute. 

Once the movie is over though, Eddie releases him and sighs. “You okay?” Richie asks and Eddie stares off in space for a few moments before nodding “yeah, I think ever since the clown, these movies just feel more real.”

Richie never thought about it that way, but he can understand. “It’s fine Eds. Just a movie, if anything, I’ll protect you from all the baddies,” he says, kneeling into Eddie and again, Eddie shoves him.

“If anything I’m the one protecting you.”

“Oh, I forgot, my darling prince Edward, he has come to save me from all the baddies~ I will never have to worry again!”

“You’re so mean,” Eddie says, smiling at him, and if Eddie holds his hand the next scary movie, Richie doesn’t complain, It becomes routine and maybe Eddie isn’t really all that scared, but Richie doesn’t need to know that. 

Richie and Eddie don’t kiss that fall, but something is different about their relationship. The other loser’s notice, but don’t say anything, mainly because they aren’t exactly sure what it is. Eddie goes with him to the arcade a lot and turns out... Eddie's actually pretty good at street fighter. The guys still call him a faggot and they call Eddie his boyfriend sometimes. Eddie doesn't say anything about it, he doesn't even seem all that bothered by it, and neither does Richie. For the most part though, the arcade is fun and sometimes it makes Richie forget why he ever stopped.

......

SUMMER 1991

"I'm moving," is the first thing that Richie says when he walks into the club house. All the other losers are already there and Richie's eyes are red and puffy. Everyone knows he's been crying. It's not like he did a good job of hiding it and that would also explain why his parents had to talk with him after school.

The rest of the losers stay silent for a moment, none of them know what to say, it felt like their world was falling apart. First Beverly, now Richie, then next, who knows? They didn't want Richie to leave, but they had to show Richie they cared, that everything was going to be okay. So after a few moments, Stanley gets up across the room to give Richie a hug, the rest following suit, except Eddie. 

Eddie doesn't look at Richie or anyone, he stares at the ground, and he's unsure of what to do. He couldn't comprehend his emotions and he felt like he had gone empty, because his best friend, the person he confided in everything with, was going to be gone in less than a week. 

Ben is the one who looks at Richie in sorrow, then back at Eddie, giving him his hand to pull him in the hug as well. 

"When are you leaving?" Ben asks and Richie, voice shaking, and tears rolling down his face, says "5 days, we're moving to Texas."

"We're going to hang out with you everyday until then," Bill says. "We're going to get drunk and we-we we're gonna play your favorite games. It's gonna be the best week ever!"

"Thanks guys," Richie says, smiling through his tears and hugging his best friends. He was really going to miss them and he couldn’t ask the world for better friends. 

.......

They do hang out every day after that, all the losers. They get drunk (or at least most of them do), they watch Richie’s favorite movies, they go to the arcade twice, and they swim. It’s the best 5 days Richie could ever ask for, but then, just like that, it’s all over and Richie has to leave Derry. 

It sucks and they group hug again. It’s almost midnight and they’re in Bill’s basement. All the losers are spending the night besides Richie, who had to get up at 8am the next day to pack up a truck full of stuff, and endure a very long car ride. 

“Call, okay?” Stan says and Richie nods. “Don’t worry Stan the man, you couldn’t get rid of my annoying ass if you tried.”

“Figured much,” Stan said, rolling his eyes, but smiling and Bill’s mom is yelling down the stairs. “Richie, your mom is here.”

“That’s my cue,” Richie says, doing his best to keep his composure and walking up the stairs, towards the door, but as soon as he gets to the top, Eddie is pulling him into the bathroom and locking the door.

“What are you-?”

“I just, I needed to say goodbye,” Eddie said, jumping at Richie to hug him, and Richie lets himself hug Eddie back.

“You already did that, stupid,” he says and Eddie pulls his head back, but continues to hug him. Richie boops Eddie on the nose, leading him to crinkle it, but he doesn't move from the embrace.

Richie really wants to kiss him and Eddie is so close, he can feel his breath on his face. He wants it so badly and Eddie is looking at him with his big brown eyes, it’s intoxicating, but he looks away, hugs Eddie again and says “I’ll call you okay?”

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie says, finally letting Richie go, and for one last time, Richie looks at 15 year old Eddie, then walks out.

.....

Richie leaves his house 7am the next morning and surprisingly his over stressed mother doesn't notice him slip through the door. He hadn't slept at all and the worst part, he couldn't stop thinking of the way Eddie hugged him, how close their lips had gotten. How much he wanted to just move his face an inch closer and now, he'd never have that chance again or at least that's what he believed. So, he rides his bike to the kissing bridge and once he gets there, he does anything a stupid kid in love would do, he carves their initials there and hopes, that maybe, one day, they'll kiss for real, even though he know that won't happen for so many reasons, but somehow carving into the wood makes him feel better, then he rides his bike back home, helps load as much as he can, and then he's being driven away. 

Richie never kissed Eddie in his room, at the movie theater, at the club house, the arcade, at the quarry, or Bill's bathroom, because he's still afraid of it all. 

The losers never pried or asked him about his sexuality and Richie can’t thank them enough for that, because even with everything future Richie said, it doesn’t stop him from being afraid. 

When Richie leaves that summer, Eddie holds him like it’ll be the last, but like Beverly, the most important part is that Richie doesn’t forget and neither does Eddie. 

.....

Actually, Richie and Eddie start talking on the phone everyday, just like they promised. More than Richie does with Beverly, which Richie didn't know could be topped. 

Eddie talks to him after school everyday for hours and usually he only stops when Sonia yells at him to stop. It's nice and when Richie starts at his new school with no friends, everything fades when he gets home to talk to Eddie and afterwards to Stan or Beverly. The other losers call him too. They all do, but Eddie is the only one that makes plans to do it everyday. 

.....

FALL 1992-1993

Richie gets his first girlfriend when he's 16. She's part of the drama club and asks him out only two weeks into the semester. It's sweet and she's his first kiss. 

He tells Beverly first and Stan second. He's bubbling with excitement and any chance he gets, he talks about her.

He doesn't even realize that he hasn't told Eddie until Eddie points it out. 

"Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?" was the first thing that Eddie asked when he called Richie and Richie almost said _well, hello to you too, _but he doesn't, he just shrugs before realizing that Eddie can't see him.

  
"I don't know, I guess I just forgot," Richie said, because it was true in a way. Anytime he talked with Eddie he forgot he had a girlfriend.

"Yeah, okay," Eddie said, hanging up and when Eddie didn't call him the next few days afterwards, he gets worried. 

Just like anytime though, Eddie calls, forgives him, and they move on. 

He does it again the next time he gets a girlfriend and the time after that. He's honestly surprised that Eddie forgives him for the third time, he knows he shouldn't be forgiven, but at the same time he's not sure why he doesn't tell Eddie. He forgets, he really does, and he wonders if that's weird. 

He doesn't give it much time and before he knows it, it's the beginning of senior year, and the future is all anyone can talk about, including Eddie. 

"I'm going to apply to NYU," Eddie says. "Do you know what you're doing for college?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Maybe not go to school? I'm going to be famous Eds, remember?"

"Yeah, but not without working your ass off. Remember?"

"Yeah, I know, but like, what would I go to school for? Drama?"

"I mean, you could? There are a lot of good schools in New York for that, I heard."

"Wow, is Edward trying to kidnap me and go to New York with him? I knew you were in love with me baby," Richie says making kissing noises in the phone and laughing at the teasing.

"Shut up. I was just making a suggestion," Eddie says, chewing at the bottom of his lips, blushing

"Okay, sure, I'll go with you."

"Wait, what?" Eddie says, because there was no way Richie said that or if he did, he didn't mean it. 

"I'll go with you," Richie repeats, no indication of mocking or teasing and Eddie starts sweating, his voice shaking. 

"You're not even going to think about it? I mean, what if I don't get accepted or you don't get accepted?"

"I mean, New York seems fun. Great place for me to start my career in being famous. Originally my plan was L.A, but New York should work too. Plus, you'll get in and if I don't, I don't really need college that badly."

"Oh. I didn't know. You can go to L.A Richie. Don't let me hold you back."

"You won't. That's the thing about me, I can become famous anywhere Dr.Edward."

"Never call me that again."

"But you're going to med school Eds! Everyone is going to call you that. Why not me?"

"I'm not going to med school. Honestly, I'd rather not be around sick or dying people. I've been doing research and I kind of want to go to school to be a risk analyst. Also, I told you not to call me Eds, you know I don't like it when you call me that."

"So, I should go back to Dr.Edward or maybe just classic Eddie spaghetti? I could go with son too considering i'm fucking your mom. Yeah, son, what does that job entail?" Richie says the last part in a very prominent English Man accent and Eddie rolls his eyes. Even if Richie can't see it, he still knows that what Eddie does. 

"Shut up dickwad," Eddie says harshly, but jokingly, and licks his lips a second, before talking again, the aggression leaving his voice. "If you wanna know what risk analytics are about. Well, you see-" Eddie starts and Richie stops him by snoring loudly on the phone. 

"Hey!"

"Was that job invented before fun?"

"Well, it's safe and makes a decent living. Cut me some slack. I'd rather do that than go on a stage and embarrass myself."

"I'm the king of embarrassing myself as long as that means money and free blow jobs."

"You're fucking gross."

"Yeah, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree my boy," Richie says, this time in a stereotypical American dad accent. 

"Will you ever stop?"

"Nope."

"Should have seen that coming. Well, I got to go. I'm going to apply to NYU today. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay, love you sweetie pie, have a good day, don't forget to kiss Mrs.K for me!"

Richie hangs up and Eddie fills out the application, rides his bike to the post office, and sends it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter, but I wanted to say what happened after Pennywise briefly before getting into their story further. 
> 
> There is going to be a lot of time skips btw.


	5. The New Future (for now)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie hears Eddie speak through the phone and can't believe his luck, but is he really that lucky or is the future about to  
crumble through his very eyes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I may or may have not changed the last chapter multiple times since I posted it....  
So, if you have read the last chapter more than just a few days ago, there is a good chance that you have missed something.  
I have added more scenes and have gone in a different direction then I decided to the first time.
> 
> Sorry about the massive time skip, I will be going back, this fic is about to have a lot of going back and forth  
between future and past.

“Hello?” Eddie says over the phone as Richie drops it. He looks wide eyed out to open space, shocked, _ because Eddie is alive! The whole thing worked _ and he almost completely spaces out, but Eddie is yelling really loudly over the phone to get Richie's attention. 

“HELLO?” Eddie yells and Richie grabs the phone from its spot on the ground. His hands are trembling and he tries his best to keep calm.

“Sorry, sorry, I just uh, wasn’t expecting you to be calling me.”

“Are you fucking serious Rich? You knew we had plans and you’re dropping your phone again? Please don’t tell me you cracked the screen again, that’d be your third one this year and I understand you’re famous yada yada, but that doesn’t mean you can be throwing your phone around like it’s garbage!”

“What plans?” Richie asks, because he genuinely doesn’t know, and also, he really would like to see Eddie now that he knows he’s alive. He kinda feels like he’s floating on air and he feels like he may go crazy, if he hasn’t already that is. He'd also like to know if Stanley was alive too and also see him. He really just wanted to see all the losers right now. He wanted to make sure that the plan had actually fully worked and that he actually changed the future. 

“God, I swear, you make over 6 figures and you’re the smartest guy I know, but sometimes I have no idea where the hell your head is at. Where are you? We’ve been waiting forever for you.”

“I’m the smartest guy you know?” Richie says and Eddie huffs. “I never said that! Also, that isn’t the point, where the hell are you?”

“Oh, uh, I’m at Al’s diner in Libson falls,” Richie says and Eddie snaps. 

"You knew we were getting food and you went out? What the hell Richie?!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. When I came here, everyone had already gone home."

Eddie doesn't say anything, it takes him a moment, but then he talks soft, his anger seems to have vanished. 

“Oh my god. Today is the day, isn’t it?” Eddie asks, he seems nervous and maybe even a little scared. 

“What day?”

“The day you went back in time“,” Eddie says, it’s a whisper, and Richie can barely hear it, but it’s easy enough to make out. The events of the day are replaying itself in his head and his headache is soaring. He really needs some advil. 

“Oh, yeah, that day, mhmmm. Yeah, that was today. Oh my god, please don’t tell me you all are waiting for me at that fucking house, because we never killed Pennywise.”

“No, we did,” Eddie says, pausing. “Do you remember anything? Like, do you remember the last 27 years?”

“It depends,” Richie says, trying to think of any possible changes in the future on his life, but it comes blank. “Did everything happen the same way it did last time?”

“Holy fuck. You really remember nothing? Not even getting married?” Eddie asks and Richie looks confusingly down at his hands, and sure enough, a big gold wedding band was sitting on his ring finger.

“Holy shit!” Richie yells. “You’re fucking with me. You have to be. This cannot be real. I’m fucking married!?”

Briefly he sees a clip play in his mind of another hand putting a ring on his finger. It's hard to see everything, he only really sees a hand and nothing else, but the clip in his mind feels like a flashback, like he was there. He can feel the ring be slipped on his finger and he hears the static noise, like he was way too focused to hear anything. It barely lasts a second, like it was nothing at all, and Richie discards the thought.

“Okay, maybe over the phone isn’t the best place to explain everything, just come to the The Jade of the Orient, we already got our food,” Eddie says.

"Yeah, okay, bye," Richie says, shaking his head, it's been a weird day, that's for sure. He doesn't even look back, he just makes his way to his car and drives. 

He tries to come up with anything from his past, but without talking to anyone or being able to look at his phone, it's not like he can come up with much. He speeds the entire ride back to Derry and as the anxiety fills, he does his best to breathe. 

.....

When he arrives at the restaurant, a boy, roughly around the age of 4 latches on to him as soon as he gets close to the table.

"Daddy," the boy says, grabbing Richie's leg and crying. "Melissa is being mean to me and I don't wanna sit at the kids table, I wanna sit by you," he whines, putting his arms up and staring at Richie, waiting to be picked up. 

Richie nervously chuckles. The kid is cute, real cute, that's for sure, but it's weird. The kid looks slightly like him, especially when he was 4, the kid had dark brown hair, as well as the same nose and mouth. 

He looks at the other losers for a second, confused and making sure this kid was actually his, because sure, he killed Pennywise, but what in the future could change so drastically that he'd have a kid?

He's not sure, and when the other losers just stare at him and Beverly gestures at him to pick the kid up, that's what he does and the kid wraps his arms around him, sighing contently. 

He sees another scene in his mind for a few moments again. A glimpse of watching a kid be born, holding the baby boy in his arms for the first time, and teaching him to speak. It's sweet and it makes Richie let out a few tears. His emotions seem to skyrocket and he holds the kid a little tighter in his arms because of it. 

_ This is weird. This is really weird. What the fuck is going on?_

The first thing he notices about the table is that Stanley is thankfully there and when he goes to sit, the only spot is between Eddie and Stanley, rather than Stanley being the one between him in Eddie. He sits down cautiously and looks at everyone, giving his best fake smile. 

It looks like they've all brought their significant others with, because next to Stan, Bill, and Mike are woman he's never seen before. There is also a table close by that's filled with kids. There are almost as many kids as there were adults and he's pretty sure that they belong to his friends, because one comes up to Beverly for a second to whisper in her ear before running back to the table. 

"So, uh, what did I miss this last 27 years guys?" Richie asks and Beverly goes to say something, but shuts it, and he's not sure why, until she gestures to what seems to be Stanley's wife, who wasn't looking.

That’s when he realized that _ right, there are others besides the losers here and they don’t know about the demonic space clown or time travel. So, talking about that here was just not an option. _

It seems like he won't be getting answers right now, but that's okay, he's starving. 

"Don’t joke like that Richie, we saw you in May! We just sat down and Mike was about to give us some news," Beverly said and Mike goes wide eyed for a moment, remembering the announcement he wanted to make. 

"Right, well, me and Jennifer," he gestures to the woman next to him. She's smiling brightly at him and he does the same, looking at her with admiration in his eyes for a few moments before taking her hand and looking at the rest of the losers. "Are having twins!"

"Oh my god, twins, congrats Mike and Jenny!" Beverly says and the rest of the losers go into a small chatter, asking Jennifer a bunch of questions. “When is the baby due?”, “how long have you known?”, “do you have names picked out?” Richie is confused the entire time, but he tries to think and figure out the missing puzzle pieces, because there are a lot of them. 

Number one, who the hell is his wife? I mean, he's married, that's apparent and he has a kid. He remembers being in the hospital to carry the newborn in his arms for the first time and he's assuming that blurry woman in his flashback was his wife, it had to be. 

"I'm sorry, but where is my wife?" Richie whispers to Eddie and he nearly spit takes. 

"Excuse me?" Eddie asks, choking on his water and wiping his mouth from the water that leaked through. 

"I mean, I'm obviously married, but I don't see her. Is she at home or something?" Richie asks and Eddie shakes his head. His kid pinches him. 

"Don't joke with Dad like that. You know he doesn't like it," his kid says and Richie looks at the kid confusingly then back to Eddie. 

"Why the hell is he calling you Dad? I thought I was his Dad, what the fuck is going on?" Richie whisper yells at Eddie. His heart starts pounding loudly then and he hears it in his ears. _ This was a joke, right? Or, maybe, was Eddie his husband? That couldn't be possible right? That's stupid. Eddie was straight and Richie has a kid. It would be impossible for them to have a kid, he had a vision. He-. _

The kid pinches him again. 

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Dad told me to do that when you say those words."

_ Right, he swore. He deserved that. _

"I'm sorry buddy, I won't do it again, I promise."

"You're such a bad liar," Eddie says. 

Richie huffs, waits a second, looking at Eddie for answers and when he doesn't say anything, Richie puts a hand on his shoulder and whispers again, quiet enough that the kid won’t hear him this time. 

"Can you please just tell me what's going on with this," He says gesturing to his ring, then also to his kid. 

"Can you just wait until lunch is over? There is a lot to explain," Eddie says and Richie knows that, but it doesn't stop him from being really nervous. His life has dramatically changed and he's not sure how to even act because well, he has a kid now and he’s married. He still seems to be famous though, so his job is at least the same. 

_ Oh, right. _His manager had called him. He'd call back, but that seems like a bad idea considering there is a high chance that he won't know what the hell is manager is talking about. So, he looked at his phone to see if he had any texts. 

_ From The Boss Man: _

_ Richie, answer your phone. I know you're on vacation right now, but Christina needs to know if you can do that surprise show in Maine tomorrow considering you're already there?_

_ From The Boss Man: _

_ We need to know if we can sell tickets asshole. Answer me. Now. _

_ From The Boss Man: _

_ We're talking about a lot of money here Rich. We only have an hour to secure our spot or we give it up. _

_ From The Boss Man: _

_ Richie, I swear to god. You've never toured in Maine and there is a high demand for you there right now. _

Okay, maybe Richie should call back. His manager seemed pretty upset. So, he excuses himself and tries to get his kid to sit down.

"I have to make an important phone call, I'll be right back, okay buddy?"

The kid shook his head. "I don't wanna sit here."

Richie sighs and thinks for a second before handing the kid to Eddie. 

"Here, just sit with Eddie and I'll be right back. I promise."

The kid huffs, but he wraps his arms around Eddie anyways and Richie is surprised on how easily the kid just lets himself be around Eddie like that when it was Richie’s kid, but he dismisses the thought, he has something else to worry about right now. 

He walks towards the back and calls his manager.

"Richie, you better have a good explanation for this!"

"My phone died," he lied and the thing is, he didn’t wait that long to call. When he opened his phone at Al’s diner, his manager had only called him a minute ago; and sure, he did ignore the next call in the car, but he was still flustered. Still is, but at least in this moment, he can distract himself from the bigger problem. Push a problem with another problem seemed like a good idea in Richie’s mind a minute ago.

His manager sighed, for some reason believing him. Richie is just glad that the voice is familiar and the same manager as before. 

"Okay, well, can you do it or not?"

"What, the show? I don't know. What routine would I be doing?"

"The most recent one. This will be the first show to hear it. Remember, we stayed up until like 3am five weeks in a row trying to perfect it? This will be the perfect place to see how people feel about it."

Richie wants to say yes, but knows that he has no idea what his new routine is or what he'd say. 

"I don't remember it all. I'll mess it up. It's too soon."

"Dude, it's been like over a month. You've practiced it dozens of times. You know, you don't have to be nervous. Everyone knows you’re gay already and it might be nice for people to see you there, you know, considering the trial.”

"I'm gay?" Richie questions, like it's not true and his manager huffs.

"Dude, you're not funny. You're lucky that you're saying that to me and not Eddie. He'd kick your ass. Anyways, if you really are nervous, you know you can look at the routine on your phone on Google docs. I'm going to say you can, okay?"

"Uh, yeah sure. Also, why would Eddie be kicking my ass?"

"You're insufferable. How he married you, I will never understand. Now I have to go and book your show before it becomes unavailable. Turn your volume on and answer me next time. Bye."

_ Married. Gay. Holy shit. Married to Eddie Kaspbrack. This is impossible. This is not happening. Eddie is straight. He married a woman and now, he's just married to_ me? Richie thinks and he shakes, breathing heavily. 

It happens again, a flashback he assumes. It's similar to before with a hand putting a ring on his finger, but it's Eddie and he's younger, closer to 30 rather than 40. They're smiling at each other and tears are trickling down both their faces. He's never seen Eddie look so happy and when the priest tells them to kiss, they do, and Richie can almost feel Eddie's lips on his, but its only an image, Eddie pulls back, then the flashback ends. 

_ That's weird. This is weird. He's married to Eddie. Is he dreaming? It has to be a dream and soon he'll wake up._

He pinches himself waiting to be awoken, but he doesn't and he shakes his head, brushing a hand through his hair. 

It takes him awhile to gather himself and he almost goes back to the other losers, but instead he decides to walk over to the bathroom and lock himself in a stall. The first thing he does is checks his messages with Eddie, which was the second to the top of messages. 

The most recent ones said stuff along the line of ‘where the hell are you?’ and ‘Richie, this isn’t funny, where did you go this morning???’, but as he scrolls up, he sees more texts like ‘when are you getting home tonight?’, ‘Braxton won’t go to bed until you tuck him in’, ‘I need to get to work, will you be home or do I need to call the babysitter?”. 

That seems to imply that maybe, just maybe, he was married to Eddie as weird as that sounded. 

The texts even got more domestic, some containing ‘I love you’ and mostly ‘when are you coming home?’ But really, what does the cherry on top is a message from Eds reading ‘I need your cock’. 

He almost drops his phone again. It’s quite embarrassing and he has to take another moment to contain himself, shaking his head. This could not be fucking real. 

Another clip plays in his mind again, he’s looking at the same text, about to do a show, and he smiles, shaking his head, before replying ‘and I need that ass.’ After the clip plays, he looks down at his phone, seeing the exact text sent from him. There is no more texts like that afterwards and their “sexting” doesn’t continue, left there, like maybe it was a joke. 

He stares at the stall door for a moment, lost in thought, before his phone buzzed and he looks down at his new text from Eddie.

_ From: Eds _

_ Where the fuck did you go? I saw you on the phone and now you're gone. Everyone is done eating and wants to meet back at the hotel. _

_ To: Eds _

_ Don't worry. I just had to go to the bathroom. _

_ From: Eds _

_ For like 15 minutes?_

_ To: Eds _

_ I had to poo_

_ From: Eds _

_ Can you just hurry up? Your kid is making my arm numb. _

Richie sighed, getting up and looking at himself in the mirror. He looks better then he thought he would. It seems that with him being in the future and probably having a normal sleep schedule, he actually looks good. His hair is shorter, not by much, but it looks more tamed, like he's been putting in the effort. His clothes are notably clean and he has at least showered today, unlike the last timeline. He still feels tired though and he still has a headache. He wonders how he can look this good, _the best he's ever looked _and still feel like his head is about to pop. He doesn't think more of it though, remembering his friends back at the table, and makes his way out of the bathroom, then towards their table. 

Eddie is still sitting, all the other losers are gone, and the kid-_ Braxton, _is laying on his shoulder, sleeping, which explains the text he just got from Eddie.

He walks over and Eddie sighs, standing up, trying carefully to keep the child asleep. Luckily he does and Eddie starts walking towards the door.

When they get outside, Eddie puts the kid in the car seat.

_How the hell did I not notice that before? _Richie thinks, trying to remember if he did or not, but he assumes that maybe he missed it because of how tired he is. 

He does it carefully, Eddie strapping the kid like he’s a newborn. He’s careful and luckily, the kid doesn’t wake up. Eddie gets in the drivers side and Richie in the passenger, driving towards the hotel.

They’re alone now and it’s weirdly silent. Richie has so many questions and he’s not sure what to even ask. Luckily, Eddie can read Richie like a book, so he speaks first.

“Yes, we’re married and yes, that’s your kid. Most importantly it’s our kid, but it has your DNA. We had a surrogate and it was also your idea. You were obsessed with the movie Baby Mama so badly that you wouldn’t shut up about doing it. I even waited four years to make sure you weren’t fucking with me and literally four years on the dot, you booked an appointment.”

He gets another jolt of memory then, watching the movie, going to the office, meeting the surrogate mother, and lastly, watching Braxton be born again. This time the picture is a little more vivid and with all this added information, the first thought that comes to Richie’s mind is _ oh, that movie!_

“Baby Mama, like that movie with Tina Fey that all those middle aged women are obsessed with?” Richie asks and Eddie chuckles.

“Of course that’s the first thing that comes to your mind, jeez. Yes. You’ve watched it over like 100 times. After Braxton was born, you literally cry every time you watch it.”

“I am a middle aged woman,” Richie says next and he starts to space out, but then Eddie is talking again. 

“I mean kinda, but not really. If you were, I wouldn’t have married you.”

“You’re gay?” Richie asks and Eddie laughs again.

“Well, duh. I thought that was obvious after I told you I married you.”

“But, you-”

“Yeah, I know, I can’t tell you why I did what I did in the first timeline, but I mean, I didn’t tell anyone I was gay until I was 18, and that was only because I was crushing on you so bad that it was honestly annoying.”

“Wait, you had a crush on me?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and snorts. “Are you kidding me?”

“I don’t know,” Richie exclaimed, raising his hands in the air. “I thought you were straight my whole life. I never even came out in my timeline, so hearing I’m married to a man is a huge shocker to me.”

“You never came out?”

“No,” Richie said, biting his lip. “How long have we, uh, been married?”

“8 years and we’ve been dating for 22.”

“Holy shit,” is the only thing that Richie can get out, because _ 22 years, 22 years he’s been with Eddie. He’s never even been with anyone longer than 2 and now he was married with a kid._

“Braxton, our kid, he’s 4. We got married in 2008 and you proposed to me, which was really dumb, because I was going to purpose to you first. Literally had it planned for just two weeks later, so fuck you for that. Oh and you also came out on Ellen.”

“I came out on Ellen?” Richie asked and what is the most surprising about that statement is that it's Ellen. He was not famous enough to be on Ellen or cool enough either. 

“Yes? We finished our honeymoon like 2 days prior and the first thing you said to her and I kid you not was “hey, Ellen, I’m gay how are you?” then you showed her a picture of me holding our dog.”

Richie sees it, Ellen inviting him onto the show, telling her he’s gay, and his dog. He loved his little Pomeranian. _ What was the name? What was the name?_

“Our dog’s name is Daisy, she’s very cute,” Eddie adds, as he parks into the hotel parking lot. Richie stays still, he doesn’t know what to say or think, because all of this was so good, but also so weird that he didn’t know how to process it. 

Eddie can tell though, because he sighs, then he pats Richie on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go. The other losers are waiting for us. We can talk more about this later. I think you uh, need time to process.

“Process, yeah, that seems good,” Richie says, unmoving and Eddie opens his car door, walking around the door to take a sleeping 4 year old in his arm, and looking in Richie's door. 

“Are you coming?” Eddie asks and Richie just shakes his head. “Yeah, of course,” he says, getting out of the car and closing the door shut. 

“Do you have any advil?” Richie asks as Eddie shuts the door behind him, handing Richie their kid. 

“Yeah, hold on,” Eddie says, reaching into his pocket and taking out a small bottle, opening it, then hands the pill to Richie.

“Thanks,” Richie says, walking into the hotel and swallowing, meeting the other losers at the bar.

It’s weird, the way everything is. Without fear, without uncertainty. All of them had their lives together, no one looked like they were sad or upset. He could tell that everything was the way it should be, smiling couples and no problems of demonic clowns or being alone forever. They had kids, something they couldn’t do before, and they all looked to be in love, which, that in itself was pretty impossible for a group of 7. However, it looks like they did it and it makes Richie smile. 

He doesn’t want to go back. He wants this to be real so badly, that he feels like at any moment that it’ll be ripped from right underneath him like some sick joke; because that’s how his life has always felt like, a joke. 

His stomach churns then and he feels like maybe he’s about to have a panic attack, which is weird. He should be happy right now, but he can’t. It’s about to be ripped away. He can feel it and before he knows it, he’s excusing himself and getting out of the hotel. 

He sits in his car, trying to steady his breathing, thinking about everything, yet nothing at all and he's in there for a long time, that he forgets that it’s possible that people were waiting for him inside.

Beverly is the one who ends up coming to check on him. She walks to the side of the car and knocks on the window, waiting for Richie to put it down, which he does.

“Hey,” she says. “Are you okay? You seemed kind of sick when you were in there.” She's worried, Richie can tell and he doesn't want her to, that's why he excused himself in the first place. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. 

“I’m fine,” he says. “I just-. I don’t know. I think that maybe I’m missing something, that my future is about to crumble beneath me," Richie confesses and he's not sure why he says it, but Richie has always had trouble keeping quiet. Probably the reason why being bisexual scared him so much, he was always afraid of letting himself slip. He talks without thinking, it's a natural talent, and also a natural pain in the ass sometimes too, but it's who he is and he has to bite his lip from swearing at himself. 

“It’s not. I can promise you Richie, it isn’t, You’re just confused. Just come inside and let Eddie explain, alright? I know it’s some getting used to, but you’re still the same, right? We’ll wait for you to remember, you do remember, right?”

“Not really,” Richie says, staring at his windshield as he talks. “I mean, I’ve been having these mini flashbacks every time someone says or does something that triggers it, but that’s it.”

Beverly frowns and she’s unsure of what to say, but she gives Richie the most she can.

“I can’t say that everything is going to be perfect and you’ll remember everything, but give it time okay? The more time you give it, the better, I promise.”

“Yeah, okay,” Richie says, but he still feels unsure. Still has the crushing feeling that something was about to happen and everything would go back to the way it was. He’s not even sure why. His chest tightens and he has the sudden urge to cry again. He thinks about Eddie’s death again. It’s vivid in his mind and he wants to scream, wants to check on Stanley to make sure he’s okay, that he hasn’t harmed himself. It all gets to be way too much and all he knows is that he needs to do something about it, but he's not sure what.

The first thing that comes to mind is to drive, to get away, and before he knows it, he tells Beverly he’s sorry, then drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to anyone with subscriptions turned on, I deleted chapter 6 after posting it, because in all honesty, it's not very good. I'm going to work on chapter 6 and hopefully get something better out by Saturday.


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